Help!

It seems to have a long, long, really long list of things to do.

Ideas for new additions to the portfolio float around aimlessly. Work on a logo design- pending. CAT notes lying tossed on the sofa of the new (read: temporary) bedroom. Two brand new novels aching to be opened and delved into. Some 25 odd, “bookmarked” sites screaming for attention.

It’s numb. Nothing seems to be able to penetrate its seemingly rock-solid periphery and shake the senses into action. The drive seems to be missing. It’s like standing in front of a fast approaching train unable to do anything. Just a few microseconds away from being run down.

It wants to be pacified; be conned it into thinking that “all izz well”. It will all pass. In fact, there is a solid, fool-proof reason that it has concocted. It calls it- Home sickness.

It tries every little trick in book to keep itself occupied. The url of facebook has been permanently embedded in it. It automates the hand to refresh the home page as frequently as human beings tend to breathe. It has also added a calendar to its gadget list, which makes use of a decrement counter. It frequently sends out warning signals but has become immune to receipting any kind of action in this regard.

It is not doing any of this intentionally. I can bet on that. I know it’s trying to be brave. I am trying to help it and please I request you do so as well. Please. Help my brain.

:) :)

Let go....

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you look back upon certain incidents in the years gone past and loudly proclaim “Omg!!! I can’t believe I fell for that! “ or “Damn! I can’t believe I did that”. And thats when you suddenly realize that you have grown up. It’s like, life through the rear view mirror always brings an expression amalgamated with smiles and shocks, to our faces and of course, there is this realization of sorts which puts any-time-ready-to-think thinkers like me into an incessant cartwheel of totally totally random thoughts.

So many times, the standards you measure events, people or situations against, are themselves baseless. Presumptions can certainly lead to some very seriously wrong assumptions.

:) For all those of you still trying to figure out the reason I wrote the couple of lines above, well….of late as I have (kind of deliberately) forced myself to side away from the usual and finally plunge into the things I ought to have concentrated upon long back. I realized that all this while I had been trying to measure myself against standards that weren’t set by me in the first place and hence can never be correct. I believe that unless you try to make your life better, it won’t become better. So if there is something you don’t like, you have to make an attempt to change it. You have to let go. Easier said than done. I know… But atleast I can say I tried ;)

p.s Hats off to 3Idiots- another revolution brought about by hindi cinema and amir khan in particular. It was something a lot of people needed to see :)

For the child in you.....

A day filled with laughter
A day filled with a joy
A day of carefree, thoughtless actions
A day worth a lifetime.

A day of silly antics
A day without a worry to heed
A day filled with “my favourites”
A day with zillions of dreams.

I ask for nothing
But a day to revive
All that’s gone past
Leaving memories galore.
Of times which were the “bestest”,
And which (as much as I try),
Can come back no more. …

- Abhu

Whenever any “big aunty-uncle” or “didi” or “bhayya” would say, “These are the best day of your life”, I would react like every other child of my age(without exception) by giving them you-gotta-be-kidding-me kinda looks. Schools, books, exams, horrible teachers, the dirty bus, getting up at 5 in the morning, tuition, homework etc etc were certainly not MY idea of life’s best days. But yet again, back then, I was “childish” enough not to think about the other facets of life, which were any day, more cumbersome than these lil things. Yes, the grass is certainly greener on the other side.
Today, standing on this side of the threshold, I would trade anything to go back to those carefree days, when you have someone taking care of you, pampering you, fulfilling your every demand, tolerating all your tantrums. When life was all about disliking everything about school, except friends, the games period, the alu-dum- dahi-vada and puchka outside the "forbidden" school gate, bus ride back home with Tj (where we would code name people and gossip and play antakshari and dum charads or simply look out of the window, in the bus). The dance classes and drawing classes were so much fun!! Going cycling in the evening, playing badminton, fighting with my brother over every little silly things, waiting to watch “Alladin” and “Baloo” and “the little mermaid” on Disney channel were an everyday routine. Tinkle, Nancy Drews , the famous Five and the Secret sevens fed the imagination with thoughts about a world unknown. Milk always went down the drain. Coke, pepsi, uncle chips, maggie were a treat!! Balloons, bubbles and soft toys were a must have. When whatever someone said, had to be true. There were no double meanings, no deeper understandings of things. Telling lies was a taboo. Secrets were meant to be kept. Exchanging friendship bands on friendship’s day certified friendship. The birthday parties, tearing open the wrapped gifts, counting days months before your birthday were an annual affair. When mumma saying "no" meant papa or chachu secretly saying "yes". The two ponytails with white ribbons to school, school picnics, dancing in the lead in the schools annual day celebrations, school choir, the weekly Rs.10 for the canteen, class photographs.....*Sigh* I could go on and on for ever…
From then to now, with each year that has passed by, which every moment Ive lived, I have drifted away from the comforts of that wonderful phase of my life. Today, I don’t feel bad if anyone tells me I am childish or I am not mature, coz that means I am still connected to that best part of my life. I don’t care how big (in numbers) my age becomes, but today I would like to wish myself and everyone who misses their childhood like me,

“Happy Children’s Day”
Cheers!! 

Updates.....

Post started: 5th Nov,09
Post Published:6th Nov,09



I should REALLY feel guilty of actually dedicating a whole new blog post on “updates” on me coz that’s something I should be doing regularly on the blog , but *gulps* I have developed this whole new things where I let things just bounce off me. You know, like stay in a total zombie like state and actually not think too much (or even lil) bout wats going on. Its MUCH easier on the mind. Trust me! So, iam just gonna plow ahead with answering the “wassup??” question bout my life.

1.Firstly I am totally totally irritated coz I haven’t been able to watch a good hindi movie. Okay fine, let alone a good one, I haven’t even watched a stupid hindi movie for so long now!! Some movies on my list-to-be-seen:
a.Wake up Sid
b.Do knot disturb
c.Life partner
d.Blue (optional :P)
e.Alladin
f.Tum mile (releasing right between my end sem examz :X)
g.Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani (Ive been waiting for this movie since the tym I went to ooty and just missd seeing the shooting of this movie by a day near the Destiny Farmstay :( )

(Yeah… iam big bollywood fanatic :P)

2.My laptop is SO screwed up that I ve already got it formatted 4 times in a month and a half and will be going the 5th time today.

3.The internet connection is SO pathetic that half the time I am unaware whether I appear online or offline to my friends. Its actually ridiculous to wait for 5 minutes expecting a reply, follow it up with words like “U der??”, “Anybody home??”, “U alive or dead??” to get back similar phrases in response. Yesterday, while chatting with Dave, i actually asked him "Am i online??" :P

4.Iam reading a lot these days. Finished this AMAZING book “If You could see me now” by Cicelia Ahern. Damn touching and totally the “awww….” –types . And now I ve moved on to “Quantum Leap Thinking” by James Mapes. (Yeah, there is a quantum difference between the two books :P). Next on the list is “Twilight” and Chetan Bhagat’s new one -“Two States”.

5.Iam going through this totally I-wanna-do-something-in-life phase. Its basically a retrospective and analytical phase and Iam not complaining. Its actually fun to try and think of different possibilities. Its exciting! Ive been trying to attend SO many seminars and talks… it good.
6. Ive been totally hooked on to Sudoku these days.

7. Ive been making a whole list of things-to-do in my vacations. Yeah… okay… I do this before each vacation so this exactly isn’t something new :P Cant wait to get back home now.

8.And now... the best one. Me a V went totally crazy two days back (i.e on Wednesday). We made an impromptu plan to just hang out since we both had been quite busy and unable to meet each other. So basically, we took a walk down our fav path to greens (Greens is this really nice garden kinda place with a waterfall and all. Awesome place to just sit and talk especially when the weather is great). We went to “our” spot and must have sat there for almost 45 minutes talking about now-come-to-think-of-it nothing specific , just a lil bout this and a lil bout dat :P Then V (who is supremely hungry ALL the time) made me go to CCD with her (well… not dat I didn’t want to, but still :P)( I must mention that this CCD is in the EDU building which all houses the KMC library which also *ahem* implies that it’s the most conducive place to treat your eyes to loads of CGs :D) After eating-sitting-gossiping-giggling (and repeating this routine for more than an hour) we (finally!) decided to leave. But, the best was yet to come. I somehow spotted this Jealous 21 store right next to CCD (which I had surprisingly never bothered about before) and me and V decided to check it out (Basically I wanted to check it out and dragged V into it :P ) But keeping up with the already-unexpected flow of events, we pulled out almost every top off the shelf, tried it on and posed around in it and ended up buying two very very pretty tops :D Never been this impulsive while shopping!! *Amazed*

Well… I guess dats all that’s been going on, i.e apart from the usual lab examz, Byju cat classes, and some other cant-avoid-as-much-as-i-want things.


p.s The latest three songs on my playlist: Tera Hone Laga Hoon (APKGK)
Tum mile (Tum mile)
Iktara (Wake up Sid)

Don't Quit

A very close friend of mine, made me read this poem almost a year back and it happened to be just the thing i needed at that time (Law of attraction does work!) . I happened to remember it again today, so thot of putting it up here. Who knows, it might just help someone else this time :)

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you are trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but dont you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Dont give up, though the pace seems slow -

You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup.

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt-

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit -

It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit;

11 to 1

11:00 pm (room)[ have just come back after spending the whole (almost whole) day at the library (aka ISH)]

I can’t sleep. No way! *nods her head* It’s too early. I have loads of do. According to my plan this chapter has to be finished today. Actually I am pretty feeling happy and quite satisfied with my work. So far I have managed to stick to my schedule. Well, that may also be because I do not make unrealistic schedules (or plans) in the first place. *smug look* Just this one chapter and I am off to bed.

11:15 pm

Still feeling restless. I know I have to study. No other way out o it. Exam starts day after tomorrow. Get up and rearrange my desk. Take out the notes. Just then roomie remembers something that she had to tell me. Talk to her for 5-10 mins. Just then another friend comes into the room. Realizing I wont be able to study in my room any longer (and hence wont be able to sleep sooner) I pick up my notes, a rough copy, a pencil, my mp3 player, my cell, wear my slippers and go out hoping to study in the balcony (silently praying that its pleasant and windy there and also peaceful).

11:30 pm

Walk into the balcony. See another girl sitting on “my” chair (my=chair that I like sitting on). Sit on the other empty chair. (The compromising self that I am). Plug the ear phones to my ears. Comfortably put my leg up on the railing and open the page to be studied. “my” chair gets emptied. Almost jump and grab it before anyone else can. Make myself comfortable again and actually, finally start studying.

11:35pm

I realize that I have been the reading the same lines over and over again. Give myself a shake and get back to get some actual effective studying done. Study 4-5 pages, actually understanding every word. Feel happy with myself. Count the number of pages left to be read. Heart sinks as the count gets incremented by 1 with each page that I turn. 13 pages left. Involuntarily thoughts drift into how poor “13” is considered to be unlucky. Feel a wave of sympathy towards it. Just then a couple of junies pass by. A series of “hi ma’am” follows. I smile. It felt good to be a senior.

12:10 am

*panic* OMG! It’s past midnight! I am jolted back to reality. Again start studying. An utterly nasal voise breaks my concentration. There was this junie complaining and cribbing to her dad because her branch got upgraded. *roll my eyes* Talk about being satisfied!!

12:45 am

Almost done with the chapter! Gleefully look around. The corridor is almost deserted. Just then a friend comes up. Sit and chat with her for 5-10 minutes. Then I start reading the chapter again, while she talks to her boyfriend on the phone. Just then, another junie, comes to the balcony and starts talking to her boyfriend aswell. That chick was extremely annoying. Shoot angry and annoyed looks at her each time she raises her voice beyond human tolerance level.

1:05 am

Finally finish the chapter. Sit just staring out towards the road. Can’t help but feel philosophical. Make up my mind to blog and then immediately give up the idea recalling the recent few events where I took out my lappy, starting working on word to put up a post and then gave up. Decide not to waste time. Listen to what was going on around me. (No. this is not called eavesdropping. Not when the volume of the conversation is high enough for anybody within a km to hear :P ). Feel amazed at how different people look at the same things. For example, the area I call balcony was called connector by my friend and corridor by the other girl. While one of them spoke so nicely and softly with her boyfriend, the other used all possible swear-words on him, simultaneously demanding imported chocolates and the 4^th season of “how I met your mother”

1:20am

I collect my notes, pick up my pencil, unplug the earphones from my ear, slip my cell into the pocket of my nite-suite, wear my slippers and humming the song "kuch kam" from dostana (luv the music of the movieand the movie), come back to the room, smiling :)

p.s. examz from tomorrow...!!!!! :O :O !!!!

.

WEIRD

Iam at this weird new turn in my life (and I say that not because my horoscope for today says “you are at the edge of MAGIC” :P . It’ s really funny how sometimes what is written in my horoscope kinda puts my feelings into words.) Everything seems so distant yet so near. One second I am exhilarated , and in the next, I am slumped in a corner trying to get away from myself. Like always, I have millions (no actually trillions) of weird thoughts running through my now-partly-non-functional brain. I am so dazed that when I go to collect food from the hostel delivery guy, and meet an old dance-group mate at the gate, I take her to be someone else and blabber something utterly incoherent until she gives me a weird look, shakes me and asks me if I am all alright. I am not going to waste much space writing about the hours spent per day on sleeping (which actually goes above 10) because it seems to be a regular feature during the months of Nov, Dec and Jan (partly in Jan, i.e till my bday )

Jeez!! I will no longer be in my teens in two months *horrified. Mortified. Stunned into silenced by shock and disbelief* Can you believe it?? I don’t. I can’t!! I don’t feel like one. Actually I really dunno how one should feel once they cross their teens. Should they feel all big and mature, ready to take care of any damn situation in their life?? And feel all nice and content at all that they have got and done so far?? (the obvious things obviously pre assumed ;) ) But what if you enter into it without feeling any of the above?? I think I can take care of myself. I have already done that for 20 freaking years of my life. (no actually I’ll change that to 2 freaking years of my life. Coz my mom use to take care of me when I was at home.) But I dunno bout the rest of it. There is a lot more I should have done in the past 20 years. (iam not gonna mention it here, coz well… ahem…I have learnt that my blog is accessible to a lot more people than I can actually imagine :P ) Anyways…guess time cant be stopped and in any case, my roomie (who is already 20) told me it feels just the same even when you enter the new league of 20 something, So I guess it will be fine. I will just have to wait and watch till then.

Yeah, if you have been wondering whats with this weird new turn in my life that I mentioned right in the beginning, I really cant answer that one guys. Like I said its weird. I can feel it. I can sense its presence and know that its fast approaching, but what exactly it is, will be revealed only when it reaches me. No, I am not drunk. (I don’t drink). I guess I ve just been sleeping too much.

p.s. Can anyone please please define satisfaction for me?? I would seriously like to know when exactly one feels satisfied. (coz I truly think all of us have become SO damn greedy that we are never really satisfied with anything.)

p.p.s I just finished reading Bridget Jones’s Diary. It left me feeling even more weird. (now u know why my post is titled weird, don't you?? )

The Manipal Our Parents Dreamt Of ! !

Yes people! I have some very bad news for the all the future “wannabe”-MITians. (where MIT stands for Manipal Institute Of Technology :P ). This place, under the influence of our esteem director, has metamorphosed from the ultimately cool and chilled out Manipal, to something thats well… not so cool and chilled out. The badnaam galli is no longer so badnaam. The freshies have to pay Rs. 50 as fine, for each class that they bunk. (yes, I know you r shocked. So were we. Not tto he forget the plight of the freshies!! ). The anti-ragging sqaud is functioning quite effectively. The various clubs and dance groups (and all the seniors in general) are forbidden from having any kind of interaction with the freshies. The freshies with whom one manages to interact, try and act so ultra-cool and wanna-be smart, that you end up following the director’s orders. (a freshie who had come into my room to take some last year books, sits on my bed, happily narrates an incident when she shouted “fuck you” in the presence of our chief warden (unintentionally), asks me the city I come from and then has the gall to say “oh! So you are one of those smart chicks from a small city eh??? * with proper hand movement and facial expressions et al* :I )

The latest and the funniest thing to be started on campus is the anti-couples squad. As the name suggests, this particular group of people move in jeeps after 10:30 pm and their main aim is to part couples and groups consisting of both boys and girls. So folks, don’t blame me if iam not able to post something on “manipal couples” from now on. ( if u don’t know what iam talking about, read this.)

This is not it. Each day, something new keeps cropping up. Now, even the hostel timings have to be strictly adhered to. If the present trend continues, Manipal will no longer remain every student’s dream. *sob sob*. In fact, it’s soon transforming into the manipal our parents dreamt of :(

Happy friendship's day :)

Dated: 3rd August,2008

There are as many definitions to the word -“friendship”, as there are people in this world. Every one of us, have our own list of things we want in a friend; we have our own choices and preferences; our own lists of dos-and-don’ts in friendship and our unique ways of dealing with it. But the thing to be noted is, all of us have at least 1 friend in the whole wide world. Friendship is probably the first relationship that one consciously gets into, and it’s also the only relationship that can undergo the maximum amount of transformation with each passing day.

I have seen friends remain friends forever, friends become lovers, friends become lovers and then again good friends, friends become lovers and then the most bitter enemies, friends become “incompatible” after a year of friendship due to some technical fault ( read incompatibility between their wavelength of thoughts), friends become acquaintances due to the intrusion of another “fraaand” (generally of the opposite sex :P), friends become competitors (and then obviously no longer remain friends) and I have also seen friendship metamorphoses into hate.

But, the most important thing is that a friend always touches your heart the way no one else can, even if it is for a very brief period. Its funny, but this is the only “relationship” I’am scared of getting into, because when a friend breaks your heart, its hurts….. it hurts a lot. Probably that is why I have so many acquaintances but very, very few “friends” coz not all can break the barrier and get close to your heart : )

So, here it is, to all my friends, who have been with me whenever I have needed them, and also to those who had once been my "friends",and will always be a chapter of my life, no matter what.

Happy Friendship’s Day!!!

The "pink" tale.

This has to be THE most obnoxious comment I’ve heard in my entire life! It is so utterly wrong to type cast people because of their actions on one particular day. And yes, this time also, it was the poor blog owner who is the victim of such ruthless behavior.

Without confusing you people further, let me divulge the details.

It so happened that on this one fine day, when the sun was playing peek-a-boo behind the dark threatening clouds (yep, here this phenomenon happens very regularly), Abhu set out with two of her friends Sun, and V (the new entrant into Abhu’s Mad-dome) to shop for some essential commodities and then basically just hang out. Luck and all the kindness in the world seemed to have turned their back towards Abhu that day. Those of you unaware of V’s antics aught to be enlightened with the fact that she can be THE most irritating person on earth (Iam SO gonna be dead today). The fact that she and Abhu are as opposite as the poles, seemed to add more ‘masala’ to what was gonna follow. So basically, it so happened that Abhu was wearing a ‘pink’ (and white) T-shirt that day. V was in one of her ‘those’ moods and was hell-bent on irritating Abhu to the core. Hence, her new-found- keen sense of observation soon observed the fact that Abhu was also carrying a ‘pink’ umbrella, and her key chain was made of ‘pink’ colored hearts. Trust me, it was all pure coincidence. But, no! What further added fuel to the fire, was that Abhu’s bed sheet also happened to be in ‘pink’ and so was her new soft toy. That it! V needed no further nudging. Within seconds Abhu was nicknamed “Pinku” for apparently very stupid reasons. No body seemed to notice the other colors that formed a part of her as well. The blues, the yellows, the blacks, the peaches, the greens , the violets all seemed to fade into oblivion. And this can be very infuriating! Trust me! Not to forget, completely inhuman. *sob sob* .

It just not about being called “pinku”. I still cant understand why ‘pink’ is considered to be such a “kiddish” color; why this biased opinion as far as the color ‘pink’ is concerned. The general perception is that only lil girls can have things in pink. I genuinely think pink looks good on everyone and suits everything, irrespective of one’s gender and age. Yep! U read me right. I think pink, when worn in the right way, looks good on guys too. I’ am sure, there is gonna be difference of opinion on this one, but I still stand by my dear “pink”. ‘Pinku’ or no ‘pinku.’

p.s. Do you know why people have this weird tendency of ignoring friends when they are with their bf or gf??? Are they like ashamed of their partner or something? Does waving a hi! make them devoid of a few nano-seconds of being with one another??? :S

Thoughts of a "disiilusioned" mind.

(Note: After you read the first paragraph, please stop and think whether you want to read further or not. If you happen to read even one line into the next para, I sincerely request you to go till the very end of this post and bear with me even if the reading becomes a tad bit boring in the middle.)

Many a times in life, one is faced with situations, which completely shake the very foundation on which one’s believes stand. It makes them lose complete faith in the entire system which runs it. I can feel myself being faced with a similar situation and this time it is the Indian Education System which has disillusioned me.

This declaration of mine might be received with a lot of disappointed sighs and nodding of heads from all those Blog Readers who had expected me to be disillusioned by something more worthy of disillusionment. I mean, The Indian education system is like this very old topic which is debated on, each year, around the month of april-may, when the admission fever is on an all time high and dies down as august approaches, taking down with it probably millions of aspirations, hard-earned money and a lot of criticism. Each year, these kind of topics get a lot of media attention and hype (creating hype is something that media has become extremely good at.), which include interviews of principals, and ministers, parents and students.

The principals of colleges are bound by the rules laid by the government (in case of govt colleges) or the trustees (in case of the private ones). The government (and the trustees) are hypnotized and kept in control by the ministers and other ‘influential’ people who, in turn, dance to the tune of money and status. The parents are bound by love for their children and a hope to help them in every possible way, so that they can kick start their carrier well, and of course, it is also slightly influenced by their neighbor’s or friend’s child’s performance :P The ones left are the students who are also now divided into three categories, from the previously defined two categories (thankz to the hon’ble minster Mr. Arjun Singh), and those three categories are- the ones who work their asses out and manage to get admission into a respectable college; the ones who may or may not have slogged but still get admission into respectable colleges because they (or rather their parents) have the moolah to shell out, and the third category is the now-even-more-popular-than-Shahrukh khan-category - the OBCs, who can get admission without working hard or shelling out a penny (if they want to) because the number of seats now reserved for them, must be leaving little scope for too many of them to be left disappointed.

Okay, for a moment, let us just forget the Quota crap and all the pre-admission turmoil. After one manages to get admission into a decent college, the question that arises is, how decent is the level of education going to be and how much future security lies in it? Today, I was going through some resumes for my uncle, who had asked me to sort out the candidates on the basis of their qualification into two groups- MBA and Engineering grads. Initially I did not give much thought to it. But when I started going through the resumes, I was really zapped reading the names of the colleges and universities. 80% institutes fell in the category of those of which I had never in my life heard of. I actually began to question the authenticity of the large number of so-called engineering institutes that have been mushrooming all over the place and an ever increasing number of students going in for such options. Do even half those people want to do engineering in the first place? Or have they been compelled by the employer’s preference towards engineering and MBA grads? And to tell you the truth, i was told point blank on my face that only those candidates who have passed out from "decent" colleges will be considered for the job. In such a case what about the other so-called engineering and MBA grads?

Its actually not funny how commercialized and expensive education has become. Get into this field and u get the Midas’ touch. Recently a friend of mine, who did not perform well academically, was trying the management quota way, to get into a college here. Before he and his parents entered the admission in charge’s room to discuss matters of give and take, they were scanned for hidden cameras and their cell phones were kept outside. Believe me; I was really shocked and slightly amused at how low the value of education had fallen. Had the lessons taught in the classrooms been something out of the world, then I would have understood all this hysteria. But, the tragedy here is that, the lessons taught in the colleges are also so vague and insufficient, that in most cases students take out side help (read tuitions, which is another booming industry) to pass even the university papers. The amount spent on tutoring the child before appearing for common entrance tests, needs a whole new post to be dedicated to it, in order to do justice to it. People who have got into jobs will very well be privy to the fact that classroom teaching is no where close to the actual practical work. When I think of the time I had gone through, before I finally got admission into my college, I still get the creeps. I still shudder at how crazy it all had been.

The Indian Education System has been SO badly raped, that it is gonna take ages to set it right. But there has to be a beginning somewhere. If our respectable Prime Minister would concentrate even an iota of what he is doing on the Nuclear Deal, on cleansing the educational system on India, then the Indians would definitely be a happier lot. As for me, I will get back to college next week, get up at 8 and attend classes( only physically), sit in the last bench and play hollywood-bolly-wood, or the name game; or better still, think about some cute guy, while the teacher rambles about some utterly unintelligible stuff and as of now, I can only shudder at how bad things are, rethink my reason for becoming an engineering student and for not getting into journalism (as I initially wanted to) and keep posting bout it hoping that at least 2 out of every 10 readers would have the patience to “read” me out.

Random musings..

Dated: 12 th july, 2008

This is the 6 th time I have opened up a new word document today, hoping to add a new dimension to the “two sides of the same coin” Each time I attempted to type down my thoughts, I just sat there staring blanking at the screen. This has happened lot of times before and I have realized that this situation arises each time I am myself unsure of my feelings. U know, writing always helps me think more clearly. There was a time in probably 5^th or 6^th std, when I clearly remember throwing a huge tantrum because I did not want to write an essay given at school! I hated writing. I would never be happy with what I wrote. But gradually, writing became a kind of emotional gateway for me. Although, even now, half the stuff I write, must be utter crap, still, I have started enjoying it. There have also been instances, when I had been feeling quite low and ended up writing a post, after which I felt much better and whatever I had written sounded SO ridiculous to me, that I ended up not putting it up on my blog. (I am really doubtful about the future of this post as well)

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It may sound silly, but over the years I have developed certain theories I really believe in. There is probably no logic behind them and some of them are really really stupid. (i.e. if u vow to postmortem each one of them and view them under an electron microscope). But still, they will probably remain as memories even though I might laugh at them a few years from now.

1. I have this wind chime in my room. (I LUV the sound of wind chimes) which had been gifted to me by one of my closest friends. Each time the wind chime chimes, I (like to) feel that someone is remembering me (:P) (okay… u are not allowed to laugh at my theories :I )
2. I believe that whenever one is genuinely sad (and I mean genuinely) then even nature weeps with them. (yes, it has always rains in such situations. Even in the month of march, even in a place called manipal, even when it is NOT supposed to rain at that time :P)
3. When you really really want to meet someone you don’t and when u don’t wanna then you do. (you can call this Murphy’s law or law of attraction. Wateva!)
4. Everything in this world runs a full circle before coming to an end. Yeah, this is one of the theories that I believe in very strongly. I have always noticed that something that is gonna end for ever, has to end from where it started.
5. I believe, each person that we meet, comes into our life to teach us something, to help us in some way. We may not immediately register the importance of the person in our life, because as the say, one realizes the value of things only after losing them, but still, they end up having a profound impact on us. Very few are lucky enough to realize the value while they still have the thing (read person).
6. Wait for your time and chance. It will come :)

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Dated : 13^th july, 2008

Isn’t it important to face every situation that comes your way?? Its so much easier to “ignore” everything and run away. Arn’t we allowed to run away from just a few things?? (*please please please*). *sigh*

Twist in the tale.....

When there are too many people and just one TV in the common room (which obviously cant have more than one :P), and one DOESNOT want to watch one of those Ekta kapoor Saas-bahu dramas, but is forced to, then it comes as a huge relief when one realizes that these serials are no longer popular and people have actually cultivated some much-needed sense and have stopped believing in such ridiculous representation of life. (with due respects to lover of such serials). But, when such a thing happens, it is because something of a similar variety, but of a larger magnitude and intensity has managed to capture their attention, which believe me, is worse.

So, this time, the channels which have managed to get TRPs much higher than the other normal channels are…. The news channels. Yes my dear friends, the ardent viewers of Ekta Kapoor serials are now shifting their interests towards news channels which are now-a-days providing more drama and entertainment than any other serial could ever manage. As an icing on the cake, here, the characters, incidents and emotions are real. Voila! The news channels have hit gold! Who wouldn’t want to leave the those fake projections of life and emotions in exchange for something that is more well… more realistic?? At least here they will not hear their favorite characters coming on reality shows and claiming how badly their on-screen persona has effected their off-screen life!

Take the Aarushi murder case as an example. This is probably the biggest example I can give you. This incident, from being something so terribly moving and nerve-wrecking for the family, was transformed into a complete murder mystery, which any Sydney Sheldon or John Grisham lover would be proud of. From children (who surprising were equally fond of Ekta aunty’s serials) to the old, all that people discussed on the dining table was “ the latest update on the case”. What is horrendous is the fact that this story was so well molded by the media, that it managed to keep the viewers rapt. Throughout the course of the entire investigation, no one really cared about how ruthlessly the family’s reputation and their sentiments were murdered.

Neither do I have any special attachment towards this family to be rooting for them, nor do I have anything against the media. But it really annoys me to see such demonstration of selfishness. Yes, I would call it selfishness. Informing the masses about what is going on around is fine, it’s a necessity and that is where news channels come in. But going overboard with “analysis” and trying to act all detective, is a little too much. Then again, not all news channel are such. They know exactly where to limit themselves, which is exactly how it should be. It really disgusts me when I see all this happening, because I really think media is the most important medium of communication we have and to see it misuse and disuse its rights appalls me to a great extent. I agree they show what people want to see but still, the integrity and righteousness of such a powerful media, should not be disgraced, so much so that they end up inspiring Ekta Kapoor (of all people!!! *rolls her eyes*) who decides to base one of her plots on this case.

(p.s. 1.also read this

2.iam sure Ekta Kapoor is gonna sue me for defamation :P Sn... help!! :P)

KIDS??? U GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!

Yep! I am now cent percent convinced that the dictionary meaning of KIDS has to be
rechecked, rethought of and put down again. Weren’t kids supposed to those puny, cute lil creations of God, who were supposed to be the epitome of innocence, as fresh as the early morning dew drops??? (okay, I had actually used these lines for a creative writing competition some 5 years back :P ) But, the point to be noted is, I had written these lines 5 years back. Now, the scenario has changed so substantially, yet so gradually, that unless, currently jobless people like me, sit down and ponder over this stuff, such facts of great importance (towards the ego and self esteem of those no-longer-under-the-category-of-children, like me) are completely lost into oblivion!

Now, before I write anything more on this topic, lemme tell all you blog readers, that I have 4 lil (lil???) cousins at home and a younger brother. So, whatever I say here is based on careful analysis and observation over the past few years (i.e. since I developed this weird new hobby and time pass called “thinking”:P)

See, I have absolutely nothing against these kiddos, and I don’t know if I am letting my oh-so-famous-capricornian-conservatism come in the way of how I perceive things. But whatever it is, over the past few years, I have received several “shocks” from them and their friends, to make me a stanch believer of the fact that “ I was never like this when I was this small “ :P

For example, the so-called “kids” today, know more about soaps and serials than most people of my age, and the accuracy with which they predict what may happen next is actually amazing. They talk bout the characters as if they are nothing more than their classmates, with whom they spend their entire day! I don’t remember seeing anything other than Disney channel and probably a few music channels, at their age :P Infact, thankz to my hostel life, I have become SO bollywood-handicapped, that my limited knowledge on the movies to be released , and the current bollywood gossip, makes me feel lost in front of them :P

Also, I never really vied for a jacket like the one worn by SRK in Krazzy4, or for a bikini like the one worn by Bipasha in dhoom 2, at the age of 5!

I guess I wouldn’t have been able to perform the “ek chutki sindoor” dialogue from OSO with as much aplomb as these “kids” do. They will surely give Deepika a run for her money!

These “kids” not only know how to distinguish between a Honda city, a Honda CXV and an Innova , but are also fully capable of driving the driver mad if their favorite FM station has not been tuned into.

They are not only crystal clear about what they want, but also know hundred and one ways of making them happen. Tell them no for something and then u will see! Poor lil innocent sisters like me are always tricked into playing UNO, snakes and ladders or ludo and end up losing in the end, cause unless they win, the game HAS to continue. And if you r a very soft hearted person and tend to believe whatever they say (as it use to be with me initially), then its their lucky day. They will surely take you for a nice ride! I have learnt long ago, not to be fooled by their wannabe-innocent faces (though the hard way). Huh! *disgusted look*.

Another lesson that THEY have taught me is that never try and teach them anything. There are very high chances of you urself forgetting all that you had learnt. Either this, or they will argue and disagree with you till the point you get SO terribly saturated that you are ready to tear off your hair and agree to take tuitions from them the next day (on how to irritate people:P)

Today only, I was caught in between a crossfire going on between my two lil cousins (6 yr olds) who sat on the breakfast table with me and were having a discussion bout barista and ccd (yep! u heard me right).

And this particular incident took the cake! It had been just a few days since I had returned from college, and was sitting on my laptop, orkutting, when my 6 year old cousin comes up to me and sweetly asks me “Abhu didi, apke kitne boyfriends hain???”

Believe me! I almost fell off my chair!

Iam not telling that all kids these days, are like this. (I sure hope I don’t sound like a granny giving gyaan), but its just that these lil ones never fail to amaze me! Sure, the exposure these days is much more from the time when I was probably 5-6 years old, but its really amazing and actually fun to spend time with these lil ones. All I do is smile and keep listening to them. And the bestest part is that, whatever they say, they say it so cutely and with such innocence, that although there is nothing innocent about what they have to say, you still end up smiling.