11 to 1

11:00 pm (room)[ have just come back after spending the whole (almost whole) day at the library (aka ISH)]

I can’t sleep. No way! *nods her head* It’s too early. I have loads of do. According to my plan this chapter has to be finished today. Actually I am pretty feeling happy and quite satisfied with my work. So far I have managed to stick to my schedule. Well, that may also be because I do not make unrealistic schedules (or plans) in the first place. *smug look* Just this one chapter and I am off to bed.

11:15 pm

Still feeling restless. I know I have to study. No other way out o it. Exam starts day after tomorrow. Get up and rearrange my desk. Take out the notes. Just then roomie remembers something that she had to tell me. Talk to her for 5-10 mins. Just then another friend comes into the room. Realizing I wont be able to study in my room any longer (and hence wont be able to sleep sooner) I pick up my notes, a rough copy, a pencil, my mp3 player, my cell, wear my slippers and go out hoping to study in the balcony (silently praying that its pleasant and windy there and also peaceful).

11:30 pm

Walk into the balcony. See another girl sitting on “my” chair (my=chair that I like sitting on). Sit on the other empty chair. (The compromising self that I am). Plug the ear phones to my ears. Comfortably put my leg up on the railing and open the page to be studied. “my” chair gets emptied. Almost jump and grab it before anyone else can. Make myself comfortable again and actually, finally start studying.

11:35pm

I realize that I have been the reading the same lines over and over again. Give myself a shake and get back to get some actual effective studying done. Study 4-5 pages, actually understanding every word. Feel happy with myself. Count the number of pages left to be read. Heart sinks as the count gets incremented by 1 with each page that I turn. 13 pages left. Involuntarily thoughts drift into how poor “13” is considered to be unlucky. Feel a wave of sympathy towards it. Just then a couple of junies pass by. A series of “hi ma’am” follows. I smile. It felt good to be a senior.

12:10 am

*panic* OMG! It’s past midnight! I am jolted back to reality. Again start studying. An utterly nasal voise breaks my concentration. There was this junie complaining and cribbing to her dad because her branch got upgraded. *roll my eyes* Talk about being satisfied!!

12:45 am

Almost done with the chapter! Gleefully look around. The corridor is almost deserted. Just then a friend comes up. Sit and chat with her for 5-10 minutes. Then I start reading the chapter again, while she talks to her boyfriend on the phone. Just then, another junie, comes to the balcony and starts talking to her boyfriend aswell. That chick was extremely annoying. Shoot angry and annoyed looks at her each time she raises her voice beyond human tolerance level.

1:05 am

Finally finish the chapter. Sit just staring out towards the road. Can’t help but feel philosophical. Make up my mind to blog and then immediately give up the idea recalling the recent few events where I took out my lappy, starting working on word to put up a post and then gave up. Decide not to waste time. Listen to what was going on around me. (No. this is not called eavesdropping. Not when the volume of the conversation is high enough for anybody within a km to hear :P ). Feel amazed at how different people look at the same things. For example, the area I call balcony was called connector by my friend and corridor by the other girl. While one of them spoke so nicely and softly with her boyfriend, the other used all possible swear-words on him, simultaneously demanding imported chocolates and the 4^th season of “how I met your mother”

1:20am

I collect my notes, pick up my pencil, unplug the earphones from my ear, slip my cell into the pocket of my nite-suite, wear my slippers and humming the song "kuch kam" from dostana (luv the music of the movieand the movie), come back to the room, smiling :)

p.s. examz from tomorrow...!!!!! :O :O !!!!

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WEIRD

Iam at this weird new turn in my life (and I say that not because my horoscope for today says “you are at the edge of MAGIC” :P . It’ s really funny how sometimes what is written in my horoscope kinda puts my feelings into words.) Everything seems so distant yet so near. One second I am exhilarated , and in the next, I am slumped in a corner trying to get away from myself. Like always, I have millions (no actually trillions) of weird thoughts running through my now-partly-non-functional brain. I am so dazed that when I go to collect food from the hostel delivery guy, and meet an old dance-group mate at the gate, I take her to be someone else and blabber something utterly incoherent until she gives me a weird look, shakes me and asks me if I am all alright. I am not going to waste much space writing about the hours spent per day on sleeping (which actually goes above 10) because it seems to be a regular feature during the months of Nov, Dec and Jan (partly in Jan, i.e till my bday )

Jeez!! I will no longer be in my teens in two months *horrified. Mortified. Stunned into silenced by shock and disbelief* Can you believe it?? I don’t. I can’t!! I don’t feel like one. Actually I really dunno how one should feel once they cross their teens. Should they feel all big and mature, ready to take care of any damn situation in their life?? And feel all nice and content at all that they have got and done so far?? (the obvious things obviously pre assumed ;) ) But what if you enter into it without feeling any of the above?? I think I can take care of myself. I have already done that for 20 freaking years of my life. (no actually I’ll change that to 2 freaking years of my life. Coz my mom use to take care of me when I was at home.) But I dunno bout the rest of it. There is a lot more I should have done in the past 20 years. (iam not gonna mention it here, coz well… ahem…I have learnt that my blog is accessible to a lot more people than I can actually imagine :P ) Anyways…guess time cant be stopped and in any case, my roomie (who is already 20) told me it feels just the same even when you enter the new league of 20 something, So I guess it will be fine. I will just have to wait and watch till then.

Yeah, if you have been wondering whats with this weird new turn in my life that I mentioned right in the beginning, I really cant answer that one guys. Like I said its weird. I can feel it. I can sense its presence and know that its fast approaching, but what exactly it is, will be revealed only when it reaches me. No, I am not drunk. (I don’t drink). I guess I ve just been sleeping too much.

p.s. Can anyone please please define satisfaction for me?? I would seriously like to know when exactly one feels satisfied. (coz I truly think all of us have become SO damn greedy that we are never really satisfied with anything.)

p.p.s I just finished reading Bridget Jones’s Diary. It left me feeling even more weird. (now u know why my post is titled weird, don't you?? )