For the child in you.....

A day filled with laughter
A day filled with a joy
A day of carefree, thoughtless actions
A day worth a lifetime.

A day of silly antics
A day without a worry to heed
A day filled with “my favourites”
A day with zillions of dreams.

I ask for nothing
But a day to revive
All that’s gone past
Leaving memories galore.
Of times which were the “bestest”,
And which (as much as I try),
Can come back no more. …

- Abhu

Whenever any “big aunty-uncle” or “didi” or “bhayya” would say, “These are the best day of your life”, I would react like every other child of my age(without exception) by giving them you-gotta-be-kidding-me kinda looks. Schools, books, exams, horrible teachers, the dirty bus, getting up at 5 in the morning, tuition, homework etc etc were certainly not MY idea of life’s best days. But yet again, back then, I was “childish” enough not to think about the other facets of life, which were any day, more cumbersome than these lil things. Yes, the grass is certainly greener on the other side.
Today, standing on this side of the threshold, I would trade anything to go back to those carefree days, when you have someone taking care of you, pampering you, fulfilling your every demand, tolerating all your tantrums. When life was all about disliking everything about school, except friends, the games period, the alu-dum- dahi-vada and puchka outside the "forbidden" school gate, bus ride back home with Tj (where we would code name people and gossip and play antakshari and dum charads or simply look out of the window, in the bus). The dance classes and drawing classes were so much fun!! Going cycling in the evening, playing badminton, fighting with my brother over every little silly things, waiting to watch “Alladin” and “Baloo” and “the little mermaid” on Disney channel were an everyday routine. Tinkle, Nancy Drews , the famous Five and the Secret sevens fed the imagination with thoughts about a world unknown. Milk always went down the drain. Coke, pepsi, uncle chips, maggie were a treat!! Balloons, bubbles and soft toys were a must have. When whatever someone said, had to be true. There were no double meanings, no deeper understandings of things. Telling lies was a taboo. Secrets were meant to be kept. Exchanging friendship bands on friendship’s day certified friendship. The birthday parties, tearing open the wrapped gifts, counting days months before your birthday were an annual affair. When mumma saying "no" meant papa or chachu secretly saying "yes". The two ponytails with white ribbons to school, school picnics, dancing in the lead in the schools annual day celebrations, school choir, the weekly Rs.10 for the canteen, class photographs.....*Sigh* I could go on and on for ever…
From then to now, with each year that has passed by, which every moment Ive lived, I have drifted away from the comforts of that wonderful phase of my life. Today, I don’t feel bad if anyone tells me I am childish or I am not mature, coz that means I am still connected to that best part of my life. I don’t care how big (in numbers) my age becomes, but today I would like to wish myself and everyone who misses their childhood like me,

“Happy Children’s Day”
Cheers!! 

Updates.....

Post started: 5th Nov,09
Post Published:6th Nov,09



I should REALLY feel guilty of actually dedicating a whole new blog post on “updates” on me coz that’s something I should be doing regularly on the blog , but *gulps* I have developed this whole new things where I let things just bounce off me. You know, like stay in a total zombie like state and actually not think too much (or even lil) bout wats going on. Its MUCH easier on the mind. Trust me! So, iam just gonna plow ahead with answering the “wassup??” question bout my life.

1.Firstly I am totally totally irritated coz I haven’t been able to watch a good hindi movie. Okay fine, let alone a good one, I haven’t even watched a stupid hindi movie for so long now!! Some movies on my list-to-be-seen:
a.Wake up Sid
b.Do knot disturb
c.Life partner
d.Blue (optional :P)
e.Alladin
f.Tum mile (releasing right between my end sem examz :X)
g.Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani (Ive been waiting for this movie since the tym I went to ooty and just missd seeing the shooting of this movie by a day near the Destiny Farmstay :( )

(Yeah… iam big bollywood fanatic :P)

2.My laptop is SO screwed up that I ve already got it formatted 4 times in a month and a half and will be going the 5th time today.

3.The internet connection is SO pathetic that half the time I am unaware whether I appear online or offline to my friends. Its actually ridiculous to wait for 5 minutes expecting a reply, follow it up with words like “U der??”, “Anybody home??”, “U alive or dead??” to get back similar phrases in response. Yesterday, while chatting with Dave, i actually asked him "Am i online??" :P

4.Iam reading a lot these days. Finished this AMAZING book “If You could see me now” by Cicelia Ahern. Damn touching and totally the “awww….” –types . And now I ve moved on to “Quantum Leap Thinking” by James Mapes. (Yeah, there is a quantum difference between the two books :P). Next on the list is “Twilight” and Chetan Bhagat’s new one -“Two States”.

5.Iam going through this totally I-wanna-do-something-in-life phase. Its basically a retrospective and analytical phase and Iam not complaining. Its actually fun to try and think of different possibilities. Its exciting! Ive been trying to attend SO many seminars and talks… it good.
6. Ive been totally hooked on to Sudoku these days.

7. Ive been making a whole list of things-to-do in my vacations. Yeah… okay… I do this before each vacation so this exactly isn’t something new :P Cant wait to get back home now.

8.And now... the best one. Me a V went totally crazy two days back (i.e on Wednesday). We made an impromptu plan to just hang out since we both had been quite busy and unable to meet each other. So basically, we took a walk down our fav path to greens (Greens is this really nice garden kinda place with a waterfall and all. Awesome place to just sit and talk especially when the weather is great). We went to “our” spot and must have sat there for almost 45 minutes talking about now-come-to-think-of-it nothing specific , just a lil bout this and a lil bout dat :P Then V (who is supremely hungry ALL the time) made me go to CCD with her (well… not dat I didn’t want to, but still :P)( I must mention that this CCD is in the EDU building which all houses the KMC library which also *ahem* implies that it’s the most conducive place to treat your eyes to loads of CGs :D) After eating-sitting-gossiping-giggling (and repeating this routine for more than an hour) we (finally!) decided to leave. But, the best was yet to come. I somehow spotted this Jealous 21 store right next to CCD (which I had surprisingly never bothered about before) and me and V decided to check it out (Basically I wanted to check it out and dragged V into it :P ) But keeping up with the already-unexpected flow of events, we pulled out almost every top off the shelf, tried it on and posed around in it and ended up buying two very very pretty tops :D Never been this impulsive while shopping!! *Amazed*

Well… I guess dats all that’s been going on, i.e apart from the usual lab examz, Byju cat classes, and some other cant-avoid-as-much-as-i-want things.


p.s The latest three songs on my playlist: Tera Hone Laga Hoon (APKGK)
Tum mile (Tum mile)
Iktara (Wake up Sid)

About Me

For a very long time I had been searching for that perfect something I could use to define myself. The “About Me” column had always been a difficult one to write into. I knew what I felt, I knew what I wanted to tell but I was falling short of the right words to capture the essence of it all. Then, I happened to hear this song, and boy! It seemed to pretty much say just what I wanted to here. It quite aptly describes what I feel bout myself (at least at this point of time in my life) And so… finally…I have something to describe myself. Here is goes…
(if you have heard the song and know the lyrics well… then you know what I mean, and if u don’t know the lyrics… here it is… “About me” :) )

I used to think, I had the answers to everything
But now I know, life doesn't always go my way
Yeah
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I'm in between, I'm not a girl

There is no need to protect me
Its time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own
I've seen so much more than u know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I'm in between, I'm not a girl

But if u look at me closely
You will see it my eyes
This girl will always find her way

I'm not a girl
I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe
Not Yet a woman
I'm just tryin to find the woman in me, yeah
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I'm in between

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I'm in between…….
By, Britney Spears.

p.s. Ive been trying to find the ringtone for this song but haven’t found it yet. If u can help me, plz do.

Happy In-Dependence Day...!!

Today the tricolor proudly unfurls itself on rooftops, in front of offices, in hands of children, on cars, bikes….in our hearts. 364 days a year we are constantly on the move. Our hectic lifestyle leaves us with little time for thoughts about “Our country”. Except for occasional comments on the politicians, on the government and on the sorry state of events, we hardly ever think of “India”. But today is that one day, when every Indian, in every part of the world, proudly stands up as the National Anthem plays, has tears in his eyes as Lata Mangeshkar’s “Aye mere vatan ke logon” reaches their ears or the soulful melody of A.R Rahman’s Vande Matram strikes a chord in every heart. This is one day, when the India, in every part of the world, comes together for sure.

We have grown….grown as a country. Today we have the power to make our voice heard. Today, the whole world sits and takes note of the power we unleash. We stand together against atrocities, stand together for justice. We know we should vote, we know how to fight recession, we know “vegetarianism” is a good thing. We are “going green”. We are giving the world its first “car for the common man”. We have “Chandrayaan-ed” to the moon on our own and are now aiming for mars. Being "gay" is no longer a crime. We are doing and accepting it all!!

But somewhere, it is the coming today of all the “I”s that makes the “We”. Today, I wish I was one of the “I”s. I wish I had done something to make a difference to the world, even in a small way. I sometimes get this really big urge to go out and do something worthwhile. This feeling of being useless is certainly not a good one. The feeling of dependence on Independence Day is certainly ironical.

p.s. Happy Independance Day!! Cheers :)

BLACK n WHITE

I have been often told (and I have often read) that colors can truly reflect your mood and to an extent, even your personality. It’s probably just clairvoyance that makes one believe in such things. But, as much as I try, I can’t refrain from observing this strange inking, this new fetish that I am developing, for anything to do with black and white.

Actually, this is not something that’s entirely out of the blue. I have been quite fond of blacks (especially as far as my wardrobe goes) and the difference between then and now seems to be the fact that, these days, I simply have to lay my hands on anything that’s black (and/or white). From my new pair of shoes, my bag, a huge part of my wardrobe to my blog template, black rules the roost!!

It’s not something I consciously do. Yet it happens all the time. You know, I sometimes feel it is because I have always tried to see life in shades of either black or white. If things are good, I am on a high. If things go wrong, my world shatters!! It’s like I live life in extremes. But, no more… not when I have been suddenly exposed to this huge palate where I can fill my life with as many colors as I want, coz at the end of the day, the painting on the canvas is gonna be mine. I have suddenly come to terms with such a massive plethora of options; changes that I am no longer scared to make. It like when a person is learning to swim. You try once, you go under the water, gagging, taking in a lot of it. Second time, you manage to surface a lot more and gradually, you just learn to stay afloat. The meaning of a lot of things have become clearer now, my priorities are finally set right again and so, it high time I emerged from the gloomy world of blacks and whites to something that better defines life.

p.s. I have been really trying hard to find a good template for my blog (okay, Dave has been trying equally hard). As soon as I (read: we) get a good one, the black shall be given a befitting farewell :)

p.p.s V sent this to me.Liked it. So thought of posting it here.

“No one can tear you down, unless you give them power over you to do so.

No one can hurt you*, unless you let them.

No one can deflate you, without your permission.

No one can tell your truth, without your okay.

No one can make you angry, unless you give them that ability.

No one can define you, without your authority.

And likewise, no one can inspire you, inflate you, teach you, encourage you or motivate you unless you bestow upon them that power.

Doesn’t it sting, a bit, knowing that all the pain and all the suffering you ever caused yourself was self-inflicted? Of course, you’re causing that sting, too. Maybe you had to experience the pain and suffering to get to where you are today.”

Happy Friendship's Day :) :)

Its been a year since my last “friendship’s day” post (read: this) and well… frankly… I still stick by what I had to say then. Yet again, this one year has seen friends come and go and each time, without an exception, they have left a mark behind. As bookish, immature or filmy it may sound, I believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason; either to help you in some way or bring about a change in you (always for the better). We never really register their importance immediately, but once they leave we do gradually figure it out. And for those who don’t leave, well…they are your friends for life. There might be just a handful of them, but they are the ones who are always there.

All said and done, I really wish misunderstanding, confusions and other such things never existed, coz the extent to which they can complicate things is UNIMAGINABLE!! Sometimes, situations and choices in life get so entwined with one another that it becomes truly messy to try and sort things out. But if there is something I have learnt in the past, it is how important it is to clear this mess. I have tried to ignore such situations in the past and have tried to just move on, as if these people didn’t exist. But I guess, I’ts not as easy as I thought it would be. And it is certainly wasn’t the bestest of my decisions. I am perhaps admitting this to myself for the first time, but I guess it is high time I did. I have lost a few and now no more.

Happy Friendship's Day!!!

Snippets Of Thought

A new semester…a whole new beginning… literally… this is how things have been. And I am not complaining! It somehow feels good. There is this new-found sense of optimism in everything I do. It s almost like there is nothing called “wrong”. It s almost like living each day as if it’s gonna be the last one! For a change, I am looking ahead, rather than looking back.

Today, I was just thinking it will be SO cool when I start earning! I had this random (totally silly) idea. I was imagining myself working, staying in a flat with flat mates, living this totally independent, self sufficient life! Another thing that I wanna do at some point in my life is learn all the different dance forms like salsa, meringue, hip-hop, tap etc. I just love dance! Somehow, Bangalore has always attracted me. Even Mumbai. I would someday, love to work in either of these two places!

My new semester has already started on quite an unusual note. My first weekend was well…very happening! The details of it are best not exactly discussed here :P ( But I just had to mention it here so that I can recall it whenever I read this post later :) )

P.s. I am listening to the song tinka tinka from the movie Karam. Love the lyrics of the song!

The Birthday “BASH”

People who have led a hostel life must be very well au fait with what a birthday bash means. As innocent as it may seem to sound, a birthday bash is miles away from its generally perceived connotation. Coming eerily close to its literal sense, a birthday bash encompasses the most ingenious methods devised by the not-so-dumb college students (who camouflage it under -putting human intelligence to better use) to make the birthday the most memorable one for the birthday boy (in a horribly painful way). Now, please note that I have mentioned “birthday boy” and not girl coz we girls believe in a totally non-violent celebration of one’s first day on earth. As it is, the rest of the 364 days are enough without being brutally tortured on this one special day too. But what makes my heart sink is that these days even the girls seem to be exhibiting their mischievous (read: wicked) side a lot more often on such occasions. The screams and shrieks that echo at midnight make peace-loving people like me (*ahem* yes, u read it right) widen their eyes in horror and what follows is a half and hour one-sided debate on how pathetic and gruesome such things are, leaving a highly petrified roommate who decides to be on the safer side and keeps her opposing views on such ‘sensitive’ topics to herself, adding in the end “But, its college yaar! Abhi nahin toh kab?? (If not now then when??) ”.




p.s I had written this post some 3 and half months back, a couple of weeks after my birthday, but since I had been going through a total no-blogging phase back then, this one held its place on my desktop, until today, which is all thankz to Java and SUN Microsystems btw :P

Rains and me

Yesterday, i was irritated!! My maths paper went terribly horrid. Nothing seemed to be going the way i wanted it to go. I was irritated with the computer science faculty, with examz, with the stupid auto-walas who never have change, with the pathetic food, with food-court (Iam SO not going there again this sem), with the conversation we were having, with the silly jokes, with the total male-freternity and in general, i was irritated with life. At night, I went to sleep, with the thoughts of the vast syllabus stretching out like a runway in front of me. I had made up my mind to get up early (i.e. as soon as my eyes opened) and get to work. But nature seemed to have other plans. In the morning, as I groggily asked my roomie the time (she was already up with her notes in her hand), my semi-conscious mind registered sound of thunder and rain pattering on the window. I sat up, looked outside the window, confirmed that I was not dreaming and went back to sleep with a smile. I woke up an hour later, yawing and stretching, I began to hum the song “It’s a new day….” :)
So, yes! Such a sea change from my mood in the evening. No wonder I LOVE rains! They leave me all dreamy and moody. They fill my being with a new sense of frredom, joy and hope. The sound of it, the smell before it rains, the view after it rains, the cool breeze…. They make my heart soar!! All I like to do is lie on my bed and hear the sound of water falling on the window panes.
Everything looks so pristine and clear and pure and magical! *Dreamy eyed* . Technically, Manipal seems to the most apt place for me (for actually more than one reasons) considering the fact that it literally pours here in the odd sem. Even though that gets a tad bit irritating at times because of the wet shoes and all… I love rains nonetheless:D
The view from the balcony on my floor, after it had rained, is priceless!!! Today, as I stood there taking in the view (and yes, forgetting all about the impending examz) I was reminded of that Nescafe ad in which the girl (in a red pullover) leans out of her window, with a cup of steaming coffee in her hand, enjoying the rain :D Hehehe! Such a bliss!! Those few hours in the balcony seemed to erase everything not-so-pleasant that happened this sem, or over my last two years here, and made me again fall in love with the place. I felt the same way as I had when I was on my way to Manipal, in a taxi, from Mangalore. The same excitement, the same enthusiasm to try out something new, and the same feeling of hope that every new adventure brings with it. I sat there, thinking about all those things on my wish-list when I came here, and tallied them with all that I had managed to do so far. Not bad I must say. In fact it has been a lot better than what I had imagined.
Now, I want to go back home even more desperately, and now I cant wait to start a another sem, afresh. Putting everything behind me. And yes, this time I mean everthing....

p.s this is the first time that I am kinda writing a concluding post to my sem here in Manipal, and I am actually ending it by looking forward to another new sem!! *disbelief* Well… things do change.

FLASH BACK

When you have exams creating a lot of anxiety, the thought of going back home making every single minute of the day difficult to pass and other random thoughts *ahem* splitting your cerebrum into pieces, this is just what you need!!! A trip down the memory lane! Okay, technically this ought to create even more anxiety and you end up losing precious time during which you ought to have studied, me feels, “what the heck??!!”. Atleast it brought a smile to my face (A huge 100 megawatt one) and refreshed tons and tones of small-small incidents which make me realize why I miss those days too much. So, now, without beating around the bush, lemme get straight to the point. Today, I just happened to be reading my (own) blog (No, I am not exactly ‘jobless’ right now:P) and came across lots of posts which I had written during my “bjb” and “ptpl” days. (BJB college is the name of my junior college and ptpl is an acronym for my dear *smirk* tutorial, during my 11th and 12th std)
I SO miss those days. Me and Sn were like this giggling duo. We could laugh at anything and everything and could end up embarrassing anyone! All those crazy things we use to do (or things that just seemed to happen)…!!!
Elaborating on each would take me like HOURS and I do have to study (how ever much I detest doing that) so, iam putting down the links of all those posts (mine and sn’s) which I know I will love reading again and again anytime, anywhere ….

1. http://datshowiam.blogspot.com/2006/10/right-to-giggle.html

2.http://datshowiam.blogspot.com/2006/11/yawn.html

3. 4. http://datshowiam.blogspot.com/2007/01/i-sometimes-wonder-how-selfish-and.html

4. http://azureline.blogspot.com/search/label/abhu

:) :)

Tagged -2

Aha! Iam finally back to full fledged blogging! I had been SO long out of the “Blogging circuit” and use to have so many pending-blogs-to-be-read, that I never had a time to do a tag. But Tj, this one’s for u.(After all… I want it to be all peaceful when I meet you soon ;) )

This is what I am supposed to be doing:Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
So here I go!

25 Random things about me:

1. I like to show that it is not easy to know me, which you will know is true once you start knowing me.

2. My mood can swing from extremely hyper to totally totally mellowed down within a span of 30 minutes.

3. I love good food, great music, DANCE (Cant think of life without this one!) and books (which can be anything that catches my fancy).

4. My family and friends mean the world to me and nothing tops my priority list other than them. (and I mean NOTHING!)

5. Once I set my mind on doing something, I will do it no matter what it takes. I refuse to believe that there is anything I can’t do if I want to do.

6. I am deeply moved by kindness and caring, sensitive thoughts while the adventures and the mysteries of life, intrigue me.

7. I can be very philosophical at times.

8. I really value certain principles and hold some beliefs very close to my heart and would not change them for nuts!

9. I can be a huge introvert as far as my feelings go and do not open up to people easily. I even have a tendency of drawing back if I feel someone’s inching too close to my private space.

10. I love watching movies, going on long rides and writing.

11. I think I can think a lil too much sometimes :P

12. I can be very “childishly” demanding at times and my tantrums are not something everyone can handle.

13. I dislike people who are rude, insensitive, over confident and wannabe(s) and I do not hesitate to show my disliking.

14 My face can really reflect my feelings and this is something I am currently trying to change :P

15. I like traveling and have this wish of going backpacking someday, or going on this bike trip.

16. Though I am fond of loads of colors, pink forms an inevitable part of all my belongings.

17. I don’t need a big thing or huge a reason to smile. Even the smallest of things in life can bring a smile to my face.

18. I can be very stubborn at times (ask my mom!)

19. I go through these phases where I develop this fetish for things (which could be bags, shoes, soft-toys, books or just about anything). Sometimes back, it was Sun signs and Love signs that were on my hot list.

20. My fav actor(s)- Aamir Khan (All tym fav), Imran Khan and Ranbir (Lastest cuties on the block), Juhi Chawla (My first fav bollywood star. I was crazy bout her!)

21. My fav quote- A smile is a curve that can straighten any problem

22. My friends describe me as mad, utterly insane and crazy (btw, I thot all the three meant the same :P)

23. I can be a bit self absorbed at times but that should just be seen as a recoil mechanism :P

24. I have a passion for learning new things and there is always something new on my wish list.

25. There is a lots that I have discovered bout myself in the last 20 years and the process still continues……

Hey!This actually wasnt all that difficult :P Anyways... i tag Sukrit , Dabasish and Preeti!

Don't Quit

A very close friend of mine, made me read this poem almost a year back and it happened to be just the thing i needed at that time (Law of attraction does work!) . I happened to remember it again today, so thot of putting it up here. Who knows, it might just help someone else this time :)

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you are trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but dont you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Dont give up, though the pace seems slow -

You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup.

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt-

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit -

It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit;

Happily Single

It’s funny how a random conversation that you have with someone can trigger off a chain of thoughts in your head, ultimately leading to a whole new post on something you never thought you will EVER be thinking about. Frankly, this whole deliberation on which is better, Single-hood or being committed, has no answer to it. To each, their own. But, here is why I think I like being the way I am.

• Okay. Firstly there is lot less tension in your head and your life is far less complicated (in general).
• You don’t have to go through the trauma of being dumped or experience the sardonic pleasure of dumping someone (which, btw, according to me, is not right! You have no right to play with other’s emotions! How can u dump someone who loves you??? :O ) and hence carry the burden of a guilty conscience(I am telling you, its not right!) It’s best to learn from other’s mistakes and lead a peaceful life.
• Your playlist has all kinds of songs and you don’t need to change them according to your status (status=going-to-be-committed or committed or break-up-phase or patch-up-phase).
• You don’t develop a particularly strong feeling (liking or hatred) for any particular song cause it reminds you of a particular something or suits your situation perfectly. (and this point is of particular importance to me cause I am particularly fond of listening to music :P).
• You don’t have nightmares each time your bf’s (or gf’s) birthday approaches, thinking about what to gift this time around. (And its much easier on the pocket as well :P) Oh! and I forgot about Valentine’s day and the different anniversaries that require similar preparations :P
• No jealousy pangs, no volley of questions being fired at u if your phone happens to be engaged late at night (for perfectly innocent reasons).
• No tears, no heart-burns and heart-breaks, a nice stress-free and peaceful life.
• You have the total freedom to meet whomever you want to, go wherever you wanna go and basically lead a totally independent life.
• You save a lot of expenditure as far as your phone bills are concerned, and the money saved can be used more productively in shopping, going out with friends or pampering yourself :P
• You can ogle at all the cute guys as much as you want, without the guilt factor (and also without anyone shooting you nasty disapproving glances at you)


• Your dreams are your own, you know how you can flip them into reality and you have nothing to impinge on the choices you make.
  
  
  So yeah! No wonder I am single and happy and I am sure a lot of others are gonna agree with me and this post.
  
  

p.s. I am again getting addicted to the song “Beautiful Soul “by Jesse McCartney! Love the lyrics!

To Sn, Tj and Tn......

Disclaimer: A very senti post ahead. Donot read unless you are tj, sn or tn or totally jobless!


“You realize the value of things only after losing them”.
This is almost like saying that the sun rises in the east. I can think of n number of situations when this one line has haunted me. This time as well, I thought about it a couple of days back, after reading this.
Yes, its true that I haven’t LOST as in LOST you guys, I know that you are always gonna be there for me, without fail, and all those things about distance not effecting our friendship is true and stuff….still…

I totally agree with Sn on this and I am very sorry for being SO caught up in my life that I wasn’t able to be the friend I should have been. I can very well identify with the feeling of wanting to have “people who know you” around you. Its just one of those times when you feel like just sitting with someone (maybe not even saying much) but knowing the other person will understand you. It’s about situations when you look at something, then look at each other and burst out laughing even though there wasn’t anything quite funny about the whole thing. All those times, when you just look at each other with a wicked smile and a teasing look in the eye which says it all (it actually says much more than words.). All those code names (remember Theta, epu, psi, gamma(OMG!!), monkey, the CG hunting, the mathematical group???) and all that nudging. I know I don’t need to give you explanations for what I have done( bcoz you understand it better than I myself do). I don’t have to think twice before telling you guys anything. It’s when those tears just fall off your eyes but you don’t feel embarrassed of them.

I do this with the new friends I have made here. It may not be that good or it might be even better. But it’s definitely not the same.
So listen…I DON’T care how busy you keep.I agree with Sn on this and even I want updates from you. NOW!!!



p.s. Thankz Sn. Loved your post.

Iam back!

After some 7 serious drafts and 2 and a half months behind me since my last post, I am finally up with a new one. During this time, I have laughed whenever I enjoyed something, cried when I felt low, was nostalgic when I missed home and “friends”, worked whenever I could, studied during exams and basically filled up more pages in this chapter of my college life. Each time things happened I penned down my thoughts (have I mentioned I have started maintaining a diary, which I started more than a year and a half back :P ) or typed them on word (Thank Goodness we have MS Office!). But something held me back from posting them on my blog and it is something that has been troubling me. As ironical as it may sound, the only solution to this problem that I could think of was to start blogging again! So here iam…

“Life never leaves you empty. It always replaces everything you have lost. If it has asked you to put something down, it’s because it wants you to pick up something better.”

Philosophical, yet true! This is one saying that has kept me going a lot of times since I started my college life (my life of independence and self-dependence will be a better way to put it). Yet a lot of things that I have had to put down still remain very close to my heart and I wish I had not lost them. Be it certain friends, dance or a part of me. By the latter, I refer to the changes that have come in me. I am definitely very glad about most of them and they sure are for the better, but in the entire process I feel I have become an even bigger introvert as far as my feelings are concerned and a lot more cautious. It’s almost as if cocooned myself, in the fear of being hurt. (“Friends have the power of hurting you the most”) This makes me come across as “fake” (as certain people have put it) while others think I live a doubled faced life. *Sigh* I really dunno how to overcome this change. Is it good to be this cautious? Should I simply let people assume whatever they want? Maybe the ones who really wanna know me will break the “wall” and try and know better. What if that never happens? *Phew!* Such confusing and contradictory thoughts swarming through my head! No wonder I am going mad! A couple of days back my roomie was telling me in the morning that apparently at night I was giggling hysterically in my sleep for almost 10 minutes and when she woke me up I said I had gone to Disneyland or some such stupid crap :P God save me! Help! :)

Anyways, I have seen a lot of more of Karnataka this sem (I have seen a lot more of life this sem aswell!) I went to Gokarna with friends. (It was surreal. I could not fathom what had happened on the trip after I came back from it. I was almost in a trance :S and no I certainly don’t drink or dope etc !! There had been such extensive rounds of self-analysis!!*shakes her head*) I also went to Davangere, Kemmangundi and Hanumangundi. There are still millions of places I wanna go to. I really wanna go on a bike trip. I mean I know I cant ride the bike but I can always sit behind someone :P
My monthly expenditure has risen exponentially and my mom tries her best to hide he surprise and apprehensions each time I ask her to put money in my account. I do feel guilty, but I seriously cant help it:P
Anyways… I hope I will be more regular with my blog, now that I feel much better. And my apologies to all my blog readers whose blog I haven’t been visiting since quite some time.



p.s : A friend had sent me this sms almost a year back and I still have it saved in my inbox.
“2 teardrops were flowing down the river. 1 said to the other,”Iam the teardrop of the guy who loved and never expressed. Who r u?”
“Um the teardrop of the girl who was waiting for him.”

Change...

Here Iam… with four and a half months behind me and another four and a half months stretching out in front. (four and a half months is the duration of a semester at my colg). Its as if I have started living my life in parts, each part four and a half months long. Its almost like living a new life in the new semester, which is somehow dependant on the life lived in the previous semester (hence the link). There are new hopes, new targets, new aspirations in the same old college, with the same friends and almost the same routine. I dunno why but I just feel the need to mark the beginning and end of each new semester. Its almost like book-marking some chapters of my life.

I’ve mentioned a trillion times how much I resent change. It takes me a while to get use to things. That’s my way of facing life. Hence if things go out of plan, I tend to become a tenny weeny bit uncomfortable and restless. Though I manage to recuperate almost immediately, the transition is tough. And this time, I really dunno what to expect in the following days to come, considering my sem has started at such an unexpected way. I mean, the beginning has been full of “changes”.

First, my flight keeps getting delayed. Then , I come to know I wont be leaving that day and get my tickets postponed. Next, I come to know that the bus I will be traveling in is a sleeper, not a seater (I know it doesn’t matter…still…:P). Then I realise I will now not be able to attend the first day of classes coz my bus will reach late. Duuno if there is anything more to come.

Huh! So much for a planned beginning. I don’t even feel like blogging these days. Now isn’t that a huge change in itself ???