Silent Revealations....

NOTE- The lines below donot refer to anyone in particular and are just an outcome of me being unable to sleep till 4 last night.

Iam sorry things had to be like this,

my heart breaks to see you this way,

but trust me, I had no other option,

there was nothing I could say.

I knew my words would fail

(to convince you)

and (as always) I would be left

feeling guilty for something I havent done.

Iam tired of questioning myself

since the time this “mess” begun.

I dunno what went wrong,

(something definitely did)

how things fell apart so soon.

A reason does pop up in my head,

and I pray and hope it’s not true.

Because if it is, then we’ll have to part ways,

as I see no middle ground,

Both of us are equally stubborn,

And think we are not wrong.

You lied to me,

(don’t you know how much I hate liars??)

But I believed everything you said.

You kept me in the dark,

In spite of calling me your “friend”??

How often have we snapped at each other these days,

Barely exchanging a word otherwise?

How often did we have to struggle

to maintain our cool?

I dunno what is happening………..

But it’s killing me to

lose a friend like YOU.

HOPE

An honest thought,

A heartfelt desire,

An insatiable longing for something,

(at times against the common norms)

And the heart sinks with realization…..

The magnum opus dreams fall as fast as they had risen.

Reality strikes hard.

Thousands of doubts flood the brain

Leaving no scope for anything to flourish .

The tug of war between fact and fiction,

Right and wrong, wanting and getting,

Takes a heavy toll.

All the warnings and forebodings,

predictions and snide remarks

elbow their way to the forefront

canopying even the slightest possibility

of going ahead and metamorphosing one’s dream

into reality.

Just as this rendezvous with the feelings

threatens never to end,

a surreal warmth fills the body

pushing all the negative emotions

into oblivion.

It caresses the soul

and teaches it to dream again.

It acts like the guiding light,

the voice of the angel

rekindling the flame of optimism

that had been mercilessly extinguished.

It doesnot make any promises,

It does not guarantee anything for sure,

All it ensures is peace of mind.

It calls itself ‘HOPE’.

WORKSHOP TORTURE

Yes…. I take back my words. Just few weeks into this sem , one of my friends had asked me bout how I was finding the physics cycle to be, as compared to the chemistry cycle. (for all of you guys unaware of how things work at my college, lemme tell you that our first year is divided into two cycles, physics and chemistry. Half of the first years study the subjects related to one cycle for one sem and the other half study the subjects of the other cycle. In the second sem, the subjects, and the cycle as a whole (:P) gets swapped )

So, my answer to this guy’s question was ‘' oh! Its awesome. Much better than the chemistry cycle (which I had to endure in my first sem.) the subjects are easier, plus workshop and EG (engineering graphics) are kind of interesting. Atleast one doesnot fall asleep in practically every class! ’'

Today, this same question was again put forth by the same guy, who stood right behind me in the workshop class and saw me practically struggle to file and saw that one small piece of metal. (Phew! It was torturous!) He kept pulling my leg all through the class . This time, i answered with just a sheepish grin. All my enthusiasm has finally worn off and cutting and chopping wood or metal till 2 in the afternoon no longer seem to be my cup of tea.

Though I managed to get through the first class of filing (which involves cutting and shaping metal) with just a few cuts, I had a very close shave with the saw today. Oh! and yes, this guy whose roll number comes just after me, deserves a small mention here, coz he is the always the first one to leave class and takes half the time that others take to complete a model.(he has helped me out a couple of times too.) I was really stumped by his energy and eagerness to finish the work, ASAP, so that he could go and meet his girlfriend. :P *shakes her head in amazement*

The few positive things (yes… iam gonna be a die-hard optimistic from now on :I) that has come out of these workshop classes is that, I get amazing sleep after I come back (:P), the yucksie mess food tastes heavenly, those three hours in the workshop is the only time when I ‘feel’ like an engineer and last but definitely not the least, my respect for carpenters and workers of all categories has seen a quantum leap. I SO admire their strength!

p.s- The pic put above is not mine(:I) and i would like to thank my classmate for it.

CYBER AURA

Last night, as me and Sun sat munching on something that was supposed to be our dinner and Shi tried her best to study (which ofcourse, she miserably failed to do) we generally started discussing bout ‘destiny’ and how we meet people in our life who later get connected to it in some way and how all of us met each other when things were actually supposed to be quite different. As I have already mentioned in my post- ‘college..’, I first met Shi through ‘Orkut’ (Need i say anything bout this site??) Had we not decided to become roomies then, then most probably Shi would have been sharing a room with Sun now. Soon our conversation drifted towards what our initial impression bout each other was.

Shi- ‘u remember when I asked you if you wanted to share a room with me? You were like, “yeah! Sure” Had we not spoken back then, I would have been sharing room space with Sun or probably with some complete stranger!’

Me- ‘ Yeah…. I swear! But u know… initially, i thought you that you had oodles of attitude. I mean, after seeing your scraps and stuff . You are quite a different person in reality. A much better one. ’

Shi- *laughs* ‘ Dats weird, coz initially even I thought that you had an attitude problem. (Me?? And Attitude??? *aghast* NO! NOT possible…I am sure u guys will vouch for that. *hopeful look* ) Infact when my mom saw your pic, she was like ‘ your roomie looks pretty smart. Iam sure she must be pretty popular wherever she goes’

(I would have been floating in air on having received this compliment, had the previous remark bout me having an attitude *sob sob* not punctured my bubble of happiness, even before it blew up.)

Sun- (who had thoughtfully been listening to our convo) ‘ you know, I would call it CYBER AURA.’

Both me and Shi stared at her. Infact Sun herself sat there trying to comprehend what she meant by that, so that she could answer our questioning looks.

Sun -‘What??!! Don’t look at me like that!! I simply made this word up, right now. ‘

( Didn’t I mention anything bout our madhouse and its inhabitants anywhere on this blog?? :P)

But you know what? This word- 'Cyber Aura' and the fact that it actually defines something which does exist (though we are pretty oblivious of it), did set my mind ticking....

(p.s. looks like I’ll havta now include ‘shi’ and ‘sun’ in my label list coz they seem to be giving me loads to blog bout ;)

@suk- yes...i have removed word verifiation from my comment pg (:P) so now u can leave comments without grumbling :P)