Iam back!

After some 7 serious drafts and 2 and a half months behind me since my last post, I am finally up with a new one. During this time, I have laughed whenever I enjoyed something, cried when I felt low, was nostalgic when I missed home and “friends”, worked whenever I could, studied during exams and basically filled up more pages in this chapter of my college life. Each time things happened I penned down my thoughts (have I mentioned I have started maintaining a diary, which I started more than a year and a half back :P ) or typed them on word (Thank Goodness we have MS Office!). But something held me back from posting them on my blog and it is something that has been troubling me. As ironical as it may sound, the only solution to this problem that I could think of was to start blogging again! So here iam…

“Life never leaves you empty. It always replaces everything you have lost. If it has asked you to put something down, it’s because it wants you to pick up something better.”

Philosophical, yet true! This is one saying that has kept me going a lot of times since I started my college life (my life of independence and self-dependence will be a better way to put it). Yet a lot of things that I have had to put down still remain very close to my heart and I wish I had not lost them. Be it certain friends, dance or a part of me. By the latter, I refer to the changes that have come in me. I am definitely very glad about most of them and they sure are for the better, but in the entire process I feel I have become an even bigger introvert as far as my feelings are concerned and a lot more cautious. It’s almost as if cocooned myself, in the fear of being hurt. (“Friends have the power of hurting you the most”) This makes me come across as “fake” (as certain people have put it) while others think I live a doubled faced life. *Sigh* I really dunno how to overcome this change. Is it good to be this cautious? Should I simply let people assume whatever they want? Maybe the ones who really wanna know me will break the “wall” and try and know better. What if that never happens? *Phew!* Such confusing and contradictory thoughts swarming through my head! No wonder I am going mad! A couple of days back my roomie was telling me in the morning that apparently at night I was giggling hysterically in my sleep for almost 10 minutes and when she woke me up I said I had gone to Disneyland or some such stupid crap :P God save me! Help! :)

Anyways, I have seen a lot of more of Karnataka this sem (I have seen a lot more of life this sem aswell!) I went to Gokarna with friends. (It was surreal. I could not fathom what had happened on the trip after I came back from it. I was almost in a trance :S and no I certainly don’t drink or dope etc !! There had been such extensive rounds of self-analysis!!*shakes her head*) I also went to Davangere, Kemmangundi and Hanumangundi. There are still millions of places I wanna go to. I really wanna go on a bike trip. I mean I know I cant ride the bike but I can always sit behind someone :P
My monthly expenditure has risen exponentially and my mom tries her best to hide he surprise and apprehensions each time I ask her to put money in my account. I do feel guilty, but I seriously cant help it:P
Anyways… I hope I will be more regular with my blog, now that I feel much better. And my apologies to all my blog readers whose blog I haven’t been visiting since quite some time.



p.s : A friend had sent me this sms almost a year back and I still have it saved in my inbox.
“2 teardrops were flowing down the river. 1 said to the other,”Iam the teardrop of the guy who loved and never expressed. Who r u?”
“Um the teardrop of the girl who was waiting for him.”