New header for my blog.....

I seriously think its time i changed my blog template a bit. And since i needed something to keep me occupied during my hols, I have tried to design a header for my blog. Please suggest which one shud i use.

(the templates have been arranged here in the order that i made them in starting from the first one made)


This one is too kiddish i think though ive tried to express different moods here.




This one is too lovy-dovy i think :P (might put it up somewhere near valentine's day :P)



Hmm... dunno bout this one. Will put it near holi i guess :P



Wat bout this?




Or this???












Um still trying to design another one. wen um done with it, i'll put up dat too.

Art...

Yeah... iam feeling very creative these days. I agree iam totally out of practise. Your criticisms (constructive if u please...) are most welcome.



i painted this one for my bro. It was given as a school project. I am yet to find gud enuf justification to giving such ridiculous assignments.

Photoshop-1

Yeah yeah.... i dont deny the fact that I am not moody. In fact people who have known me for a decent period of time are pretty aware of my mood swings. But really, I swear these days my mood swings (uh! okay... tantrums) have reduced significantly. My posts stand privy to this fact as it has been really really *stresses on the word with all her heart* long since I ve used the word "mood swing" and "me" together :P
And like I have tried to justify numerous times before, I still stress on how constructive these mood swings and "weird phases " (Ah! there.... it feels so heavenly to use these words after so long) are. Its because of these sudden natural emotional outbursts and behavioral patterns and characteristic traits, which are not so characteristic and habitual these days, that I have managed to create some really innovative and inspirational pieces of art (or so i like to believe :P). Though many would like to disagree to the above statement, so righteously made by a die-hard believer of spontaneous expression and genuine emotions emoted during phases of intense creative outburst, I still stand stubbornly next to this very phenomenon that has made me a proud creator of some fine handiwork.

Today, a hapless victim of yet another similar phase, my latest passion seems to be Adobe Photoshop. Though I had a miniature tryst with this software in my last semester at college, I have fully absorbed the significance and method of use of this unique creation of the human brain, in these last few days. Here’s presenting two of my creations during my first-ever proper rendezvous with this application.

(who said writing rubbish was difficult??? :P :P)

11 to 1

11:00 pm (room)[ have just come back after spending the whole (almost whole) day at the library (aka ISH)]

I can’t sleep. No way! *nods her head* It’s too early. I have loads of do. According to my plan this chapter has to be finished today. Actually I am pretty feeling happy and quite satisfied with my work. So far I have managed to stick to my schedule. Well, that may also be because I do not make unrealistic schedules (or plans) in the first place. *smug look* Just this one chapter and I am off to bed.

11:15 pm

Still feeling restless. I know I have to study. No other way out o it. Exam starts day after tomorrow. Get up and rearrange my desk. Take out the notes. Just then roomie remembers something that she had to tell me. Talk to her for 5-10 mins. Just then another friend comes into the room. Realizing I wont be able to study in my room any longer (and hence wont be able to sleep sooner) I pick up my notes, a rough copy, a pencil, my mp3 player, my cell, wear my slippers and go out hoping to study in the balcony (silently praying that its pleasant and windy there and also peaceful).

11:30 pm

Walk into the balcony. See another girl sitting on “my” chair (my=chair that I like sitting on). Sit on the other empty chair. (The compromising self that I am). Plug the ear phones to my ears. Comfortably put my leg up on the railing and open the page to be studied. “my” chair gets emptied. Almost jump and grab it before anyone else can. Make myself comfortable again and actually, finally start studying.

11:35pm

I realize that I have been the reading the same lines over and over again. Give myself a shake and get back to get some actual effective studying done. Study 4-5 pages, actually understanding every word. Feel happy with myself. Count the number of pages left to be read. Heart sinks as the count gets incremented by 1 with each page that I turn. 13 pages left. Involuntarily thoughts drift into how poor “13” is considered to be unlucky. Feel a wave of sympathy towards it. Just then a couple of junies pass by. A series of “hi ma’am” follows. I smile. It felt good to be a senior.

12:10 am

*panic* OMG! It’s past midnight! I am jolted back to reality. Again start studying. An utterly nasal voise breaks my concentration. There was this junie complaining and cribbing to her dad because her branch got upgraded. *roll my eyes* Talk about being satisfied!!

12:45 am

Almost done with the chapter! Gleefully look around. The corridor is almost deserted. Just then a friend comes up. Sit and chat with her for 5-10 minutes. Then I start reading the chapter again, while she talks to her boyfriend on the phone. Just then, another junie, comes to the balcony and starts talking to her boyfriend aswell. That chick was extremely annoying. Shoot angry and annoyed looks at her each time she raises her voice beyond human tolerance level.

1:05 am

Finally finish the chapter. Sit just staring out towards the road. Can’t help but feel philosophical. Make up my mind to blog and then immediately give up the idea recalling the recent few events where I took out my lappy, starting working on word to put up a post and then gave up. Decide not to waste time. Listen to what was going on around me. (No. this is not called eavesdropping. Not when the volume of the conversation is high enough for anybody within a km to hear :P ). Feel amazed at how different people look at the same things. For example, the area I call balcony was called connector by my friend and corridor by the other girl. While one of them spoke so nicely and softly with her boyfriend, the other used all possible swear-words on him, simultaneously demanding imported chocolates and the 4^th season of “how I met your mother”

1:20am

I collect my notes, pick up my pencil, unplug the earphones from my ear, slip my cell into the pocket of my nite-suite, wear my slippers and humming the song "kuch kam" from dostana (luv the music of the movieand the movie), come back to the room, smiling :)

p.s. examz from tomorrow...!!!!! :O :O !!!!

.

WEIRD

Iam at this weird new turn in my life (and I say that not because my horoscope for today says “you are at the edge of MAGIC” :P . It’ s really funny how sometimes what is written in my horoscope kinda puts my feelings into words.) Everything seems so distant yet so near. One second I am exhilarated , and in the next, I am slumped in a corner trying to get away from myself. Like always, I have millions (no actually trillions) of weird thoughts running through my now-partly-non-functional brain. I am so dazed that when I go to collect food from the hostel delivery guy, and meet an old dance-group mate at the gate, I take her to be someone else and blabber something utterly incoherent until she gives me a weird look, shakes me and asks me if I am all alright. I am not going to waste much space writing about the hours spent per day on sleeping (which actually goes above 10) because it seems to be a regular feature during the months of Nov, Dec and Jan (partly in Jan, i.e till my bday )

Jeez!! I will no longer be in my teens in two months *horrified. Mortified. Stunned into silenced by shock and disbelief* Can you believe it?? I don’t. I can’t!! I don’t feel like one. Actually I really dunno how one should feel once they cross their teens. Should they feel all big and mature, ready to take care of any damn situation in their life?? And feel all nice and content at all that they have got and done so far?? (the obvious things obviously pre assumed ;) ) But what if you enter into it without feeling any of the above?? I think I can take care of myself. I have already done that for 20 freaking years of my life. (no actually I’ll change that to 2 freaking years of my life. Coz my mom use to take care of me when I was at home.) But I dunno bout the rest of it. There is a lot more I should have done in the past 20 years. (iam not gonna mention it here, coz well… ahem…I have learnt that my blog is accessible to a lot more people than I can actually imagine :P ) Anyways…guess time cant be stopped and in any case, my roomie (who is already 20) told me it feels just the same even when you enter the new league of 20 something, So I guess it will be fine. I will just have to wait and watch till then.

Yeah, if you have been wondering whats with this weird new turn in my life that I mentioned right in the beginning, I really cant answer that one guys. Like I said its weird. I can feel it. I can sense its presence and know that its fast approaching, but what exactly it is, will be revealed only when it reaches me. No, I am not drunk. (I don’t drink). I guess I ve just been sleeping too much.

p.s. Can anyone please please define satisfaction for me?? I would seriously like to know when exactly one feels satisfied. (coz I truly think all of us have become SO damn greedy that we are never really satisfied with anything.)

p.p.s I just finished reading Bridget Jones’s Diary. It left me feeling even more weird. (now u know why my post is titled weird, don't you?? )

The COORG TRIP (an organiser's point of view ;) )

PHEW!! Today, after almost a month and a half, I have finally taken out time to do nothing! If I was asked to sum up the past one a half months, I would probably not know from where to start and what all to say, because there was SO much happening, that I barely got time to sit and ponder over it (and that’s saying something). But yes, the most significant thing that happened during this time is that I have finally been able to tick off something from my list of to-do’s, which can also be called my dream or my ardent wish.

As a school girl, I had these vivid imaginations where I would see myself in this nice college, doing a lot of “important” “official” work like organizing stuff, or working for an organization. I would inevitable imagine myself running around, getting things done. I had no idea which college I would land up in or how my dreams would metamorphosis into reality. But that’s why I say law of attraction works.

My dreams kind of turned into reality! Yes! I got a chance to be one of the organizers for the REDX trip to Coorg, for the first years. The amount I have learnt during the course of this trip, is seriously not a joke. For those of you unaware of what exactly the job of an organizer is, let me clear your doubts. As far as my understanding of this post goes, an organizer (there are four of them) is responsible for almost everything that happens or is going to happen on the trip. Though whatever they do does require a nod of the head from the executive committee people, still, right from planning the trip to the execution of it, it’s the organizers who are grinded in the mill. Given below are some pre-requisites that an organizer must possess:

(in no particular order)

1. Patience (abundance of it): without this the organizer is sure to go bald with the n number of “ready to tear ur hair out” situations that arise.
2. Self-control- A must for all those people who don’t wanna go sore shouting at all the other people who should be working but are not, and don’t wanna land up with a sever headache at the end of the day, after shouting ,abusing and swearing along with their fellow organizers (and sometimes at their fellow organizers) :P
3. Sense of humor- this is your lifeline. To let the steam off your head, go in for some witty one-liners (which might just turn into pjs if u r not careful) or better still, make music your best companion.
4. Stamina- Yes! A couple of packets of glucose ought to become a part of your daily diet. (unless of course you are use to such a stressful and tiring routine (read- doing bhangra :P))
5. Quick thinking- Ah! This one is needed to dodge your teachers and their suspicious stares when you sit in the last bench, sms-ing your fellow organizers and discussing important stuff like “setting up of info desks, putting up posters, getting the man-com to work” and the likes. And I am not exaggerating when I say that we would be so engrossed in doing all this that by the time we finally looked up from the screen of the cell, the class would be almost over.
6. Insomnia- If you are already an insomniac, it is going to be a cake-walk for you. If you are not one, well… then dude… tough times ahead! Stealing 4-5 hours of sleep per day is an achievement!
7. self-confidence- This is needed when you have people come and take out their anger on you, for no rhyme or reason, and you have no other option but to give them a patient hearing, calm them down and pacify them. In such a situation, you have to be sure of your actions and know that you are not wrong.

I dunno if I possessed any of the above mentioned “qualities”, but I do know that I have matured quite a bit in the past few weeks. My understanding of a lot of things has increased significantly. I have had to deal with SO many different kinds of people that now iam pretty confident of facing any situation that may arise. On a more serious note, this trip has been a totally enriching experience for me. I have discovered lots of things about myself which I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. There are so many responsibilities of an organizer. Before the trip and during it, it’s like you are representing the club before everyone else. You are totally responsible for your actions and your words.

The event is like your own baby. You see is grow before you. And finally, when you see the event being concluded successfully, and have people praising you for your efforts, it feels divine. All the hard feelings, anger and frustration simply melts. All the effort seems worth it.

I dunno when next such an opportunity is gonna come to me again, but I sure am already looking forward to it J Life is weird… u never know when and what its gonna haul at u next. Yes, I use the word haul coz for me, nothing seems to slowly and steadily come in… it’s always….with a boom and a bang!

The Manipal Our Parents Dreamt Of ! !

Yes people! I have some very bad news for the all the future “wannabe”-MITians. (where MIT stands for Manipal Institute Of Technology :P ). This place, under the influence of our esteem director, has metamorphosed from the ultimately cool and chilled out Manipal, to something thats well… not so cool and chilled out. The badnaam galli is no longer so badnaam. The freshies have to pay Rs. 50 as fine, for each class that they bunk. (yes, I know you r shocked. So were we. Not tto he forget the plight of the freshies!! ). The anti-ragging sqaud is functioning quite effectively. The various clubs and dance groups (and all the seniors in general) are forbidden from having any kind of interaction with the freshies. The freshies with whom one manages to interact, try and act so ultra-cool and wanna-be smart, that you end up following the director’s orders. (a freshie who had come into my room to take some last year books, sits on my bed, happily narrates an incident when she shouted “fuck you” in the presence of our chief warden (unintentionally), asks me the city I come from and then has the gall to say “oh! So you are one of those smart chicks from a small city eh??? * with proper hand movement and facial expressions et al* :I )

The latest and the funniest thing to be started on campus is the anti-couples squad. As the name suggests, this particular group of people move in jeeps after 10:30 pm and their main aim is to part couples and groups consisting of both boys and girls. So folks, don’t blame me if iam not able to post something on “manipal couples” from now on. ( if u don’t know what iam talking about, read this.)

This is not it. Each day, something new keeps cropping up. Now, even the hostel timings have to be strictly adhered to. If the present trend continues, Manipal will no longer remain every student’s dream. *sob sob*. In fact, it’s soon transforming into the manipal our parents dreamt of :(

“The girl who got stuck in the lift”

My 3^rd sem here, has suddenly become SO eventful, that I simply cant believe that a few weeks back (i.e a few days after I returned to manipal) I was all set to pack my bags, and run (or rather fly :P) back home. Agreed that the initial couple of days in each semester are quite slow and it takes time to get into the mould of things, but I really did not know that things would transform so soon. It is not possible to elaborate on everything but I have to tell you guys about the latest episode in my life.

I got stuck in the lift in my hostel !!!

Yes people! I finally got stuck in my hostel lift *100 Mwatt smile :D*. Before you start giving me is-she-crazy-or-what kinda looks, lemme clarify the reason of my delight. The two lifts in my hostel have always been popular for getting stuck and we have, very often, heard girls scream and bang the lift door, calling for help. Each time, I saw something like this happen to someone, after the initial feeling of sympathy washed over my being, I would inevitably find myself wondering how it felt like, to be in a situation like this. And Boy! Law of attraction does work! Yesterday, when I was least expecting it, the lift gave a sudden jerk and stopped a lil above the 4^th floor. I was all alone in the lift. After a few nanoseconds of panicking, a finally realized that my dream had come true! It was time to see how I handled such a situation :D

I got to work. I tried all the buttons on the life panel. None seemed to function. Next I banged on the lift door. Since the lift had been elevated just a foot above the 4^th floor, I was hoping someone passing by would hear me. After 5 minutes, I finally decided to pry open the inner door and I succeeded. I could see outside, through a small crack between the outer sliding doors. I continued banging and soon a couple of freshies, who realized what had happened, stood outside.

Freshie 1- Please don’t panic.

Me- No! No! I am not panicking. Just go and tell the matron about it.

(They try to open the outside door, but in vain.)

Freshie 2- (to freshie 1)- Is she alone??

Me- (overhearing the convo) Yes iam alone. Now will u please go and call the matron?

I dunno if one of them went to call the matron, but soon they started their chitter-chatter again. Now, I was getting a little restless coz I had to study for my COA exam the next day, and I had wasted enough time already.

Me- (in a bored and slightly irritated way): listen. Will you please go and tell the matron bout the lift?

Freshie 3 (who had just joined the group and was being enlightened with the reason for such a commotion)(in a very very sweet and sympathetic, almost childish way) - Please don’t cry, we are all here.

Me: (I cudnt control laughing:P) : No dear, iam not crying. Its fine. Just get the lift started.

I assumed that the few seconds of silence that followed my response, had something o do with freshies finding it to be quite unexpected ;) But what the hell??? Was i supposed to cry in there or what?? :O

After another another 5-7 minutes of boredom (yes, being stuck in the lift alone, can be very boring :I), during which I tried to inspect the gear-kinda things that were attached on the inner side of the outer door, the lift finally started working and I got down on the 5^th floor. I came down to thank all the freshies who had provided me with a decent amount of entertainment while I was stuck in the lift, and I became popular as the “girl who got stuck in the lift” :P, with all of them asking each other- “oh! She got stuck?”, “Was it her??” and the likes. On the whole, it was a different experience: D

p.s. my mom definitely disagrees with me on this one. She was positively freaked out when I narrated the incident to her, which had less to do with the fact that I got stuck, and more to do with my enjoying the experience.;) But the only thing she’s glad of, is the fact that I have been er.... kind of avoiding using the lift the whole day today and have hence been, exercising my leg muscles quite a bit :P

A Trip To heaven....

Looking out of the window has never been more beautiful and enrapturing… Trust me! I may sound like a total dreamer (which I am, in a certain way) but the only way I can define Kerela is by saying- “Heavens all here!”
This trip to Kerela had been organized by RedX, the socio-adventure club of Manipal and for a nature-lover like me, this was a total not-to-be-missed opportunity. More so, because this time I went for the trip not as an outsider, but as a part of the RedX family.
We left Manipal on the 9th at around 11:30. After thoroughly enjoying ourselves in the bus, singing (in voices, sure to give any “bathroom singer” contestant, a complex :P) for almost 2 and a half hours, our vocal cords finally got a bit of respite when we had to stop at the check post on the Karnataka- Kerela state border. We were stuck there for almost 2 hours (due to some document problem, as I was told about, later on.). But no issues, because standing there on the highway, in no man’s land, in the dead of the night, was a totally ultimate experience. Due to the rain, it had become a lil chilly or may be I was shivering because of the strange amalgamation of feelings of excitement, anticipation and apprehension that had taken control of my being, in such an atypical situation.
Finally, at around quarter to 4, we received the much awaited green signal to proceed towards our destination. The next couple of hours were followed by deep slumber, to recharge our batteries for what lay ahead.
The advantage of sitting beside the window on such trips is that, the first sight that greets one’s eyes when one is woken up by a sudden jolt of the bus, is a misty window and beyond that, an array of rapidly passing, freshly bathed, green trees (and I mean totally GREEN trees), after which one does not curse the roads for spoiling one’s beauty sleep. After I had enough time to satiate my eyes with such a treat, we finally pulled over at a small place, on the way, to freshen up.
For the next leg of the journey, I sat in the last row of the bus, with my friends. We had a photograph session (yes, I lurv taking snaps :D ) and another round of India’s most favorite any-occasion-any-location game - Antakshari. After a quick breakfast at a "Mallu" hotel (where chutney was served in a big steel bucket, the kind used for bathing :P), our next stoppage was at Paithalmala.
I had the time of my life there. Mentioning how stunning the view was, will be stating the obvious and repeating a very clichéd line. As the four jeeps, overflowing with the previous occupants of the bus, climbed the hills further, all we could do was hold our breaths at the sight that greeted our eyes. Once on top, we got an astounding view of a miniature waterfall. Though I was initially quite reluctant to get my shoes and jeans wet in the icy cold waters (which I swear, had nothing to do with the leeches that were supposed to be present there *involuntarily shivers*) , the adventurous streak in me finally took over and I braved the fall (and the leeches :p).
We decided to walk back to the foot of the mountain instead of taking the jeep. I really wished I could have stood there longer and taken in the view, but as we were already running behind schedule, we all had to hurry up. On the way back, I also went leech hunting. (I couldn’t help it! I really wanted to see a real one, having heard SO much about them. Good or bad? Well, lets leave that out of the discussion :P). And yes! I finally did see a leech. Not on the way, under some rock, but on a friend’s hand, in the bus !! (see… I told u. The law of attraction never fails to work :D ). Traveling down the mountain, hanging on the bars behind the jeep, was an experience Iam gonna take long to forget :D
Our next stop was St Angelo’s Fort. On the way, I and my MP3 player gave each other company. You know, it’s really surprising how slow, romantic numbers sound so wonderful in such situations! ;) The multitude of random thoughts that keep romping about, all over one’s cerebrum, just adds to the feel.
Set by the sea, St’ Angelo’s Fort looked beautiful. Rains have this weird kind of magic. They can make everything look so serene and pure; even a century old fort that had mosses and algae growing all over it (and loos which had locks that looked as if they had been last used when the king was alive and nobody has bothered to open them ever since :P)
Since by then, the Rain-God had turned quite hostile towards us, we could stop for just half n hour at the next and also the last place on our itinerary- Payambalam Beach Garden (sheesh! The names of these places are tough!).
At 12:15, we finally reached home-sweet-home (I mean Manipal:P ), all wet and shivering.
After such an awesome time, the repercussions (read- sore throat and mild fever) seem very insignificant. Instead, such exhilarating display of nature’s bounty, leave one vying for more .

Happy friendship's day :)

Dated: 3rd August,2008

There are as many definitions to the word -“friendship”, as there are people in this world. Every one of us, have our own list of things we want in a friend; we have our own choices and preferences; our own lists of dos-and-don’ts in friendship and our unique ways of dealing with it. But the thing to be noted is, all of us have at least 1 friend in the whole wide world. Friendship is probably the first relationship that one consciously gets into, and it’s also the only relationship that can undergo the maximum amount of transformation with each passing day.

I have seen friends remain friends forever, friends become lovers, friends become lovers and then again good friends, friends become lovers and then the most bitter enemies, friends become “incompatible” after a year of friendship due to some technical fault ( read incompatibility between their wavelength of thoughts), friends become acquaintances due to the intrusion of another “fraaand” (generally of the opposite sex :P), friends become competitors (and then obviously no longer remain friends) and I have also seen friendship metamorphoses into hate.

But, the most important thing is that a friend always touches your heart the way no one else can, even if it is for a very brief period. Its funny, but this is the only “relationship” I’am scared of getting into, because when a friend breaks your heart, its hurts….. it hurts a lot. Probably that is why I have so many acquaintances but very, very few “friends” coz not all can break the barrier and get close to your heart : )

So, here it is, to all my friends, who have been with me whenever I have needed them, and also to those who had once been my "friends",and will always be a chapter of my life, no matter what.

Happy Friendship’s Day!!!

The "pink" tale.

This has to be THE most obnoxious comment I’ve heard in my entire life! It is so utterly wrong to type cast people because of their actions on one particular day. And yes, this time also, it was the poor blog owner who is the victim of such ruthless behavior.

Without confusing you people further, let me divulge the details.

It so happened that on this one fine day, when the sun was playing peek-a-boo behind the dark threatening clouds (yep, here this phenomenon happens very regularly), Abhu set out with two of her friends Sun, and V (the new entrant into Abhu’s Mad-dome) to shop for some essential commodities and then basically just hang out. Luck and all the kindness in the world seemed to have turned their back towards Abhu that day. Those of you unaware of V’s antics aught to be enlightened with the fact that she can be THE most irritating person on earth (Iam SO gonna be dead today). The fact that she and Abhu are as opposite as the poles, seemed to add more ‘masala’ to what was gonna follow. So basically, it so happened that Abhu was wearing a ‘pink’ (and white) T-shirt that day. V was in one of her ‘those’ moods and was hell-bent on irritating Abhu to the core. Hence, her new-found- keen sense of observation soon observed the fact that Abhu was also carrying a ‘pink’ umbrella, and her key chain was made of ‘pink’ colored hearts. Trust me, it was all pure coincidence. But, no! What further added fuel to the fire, was that Abhu’s bed sheet also happened to be in ‘pink’ and so was her new soft toy. That it! V needed no further nudging. Within seconds Abhu was nicknamed “Pinku” for apparently very stupid reasons. No body seemed to notice the other colors that formed a part of her as well. The blues, the yellows, the blacks, the peaches, the greens , the violets all seemed to fade into oblivion. And this can be very infuriating! Trust me! Not to forget, completely inhuman. *sob sob* .

It just not about being called “pinku”. I still cant understand why ‘pink’ is considered to be such a “kiddish” color; why this biased opinion as far as the color ‘pink’ is concerned. The general perception is that only lil girls can have things in pink. I genuinely think pink looks good on everyone and suits everything, irrespective of one’s gender and age. Yep! U read me right. I think pink, when worn in the right way, looks good on guys too. I’ am sure, there is gonna be difference of opinion on this one, but I still stand by my dear “pink”. ‘Pinku’ or no ‘pinku.’

p.s. Do you know why people have this weird tendency of ignoring friends when they are with their bf or gf??? Are they like ashamed of their partner or something? Does waving a hi! make them devoid of a few nano-seconds of being with one another??? :S

Fly'n Higher n Higher

DATED: 19th July, 2008

Iam in the air! Nope, Iam not kidding. Iam on my way back to college and this is perhaps the best thing to do on the flight. Yeah, vacations are over. It will sound very clichéd if I say that I did not realize how time flew. But, trust me, each moment just…just melted away before I could properly grasp what was happening. It all seemed so surreal. I was right there, seeing everything happen, totally involved in whatever I was doing, yet now I feel so disconnected from everything. It’s as if I was watching a movie and now I have come out of the picture hall, still feeling every emotion portrayed on the screen, yet not being a part of it at all. I really wish my mom had not broken down at the airport. She tried her best to put up a brave front, but I can’t blame her for the few tears that refused to stay put in her eyes. I know she misses me more than I miss her, but I wish I knew how to express the concern I feel for her. Sometimes I feel so handicapped in such emotional situations. I feel utterly incapable of emotionally helping out people. I become SO tongue tied. I rarely know what to say, or to put it better, I don’t know how to express my self in such situations. *shrugs her shoulders*
I was again carrying 19 kgs of excess baggage. Cant help it now, can i?? All I had was one suitcase and a handbag as my check in luggage. The flight people should allow at least 35 kgs for students, right? In any case I managed to speak to those people and convinced them to charge me for just 3 kgs of excess baggage :D Sometimes, having a cute, innocent face (and smile) can do wonders. Hehehe! *devilish laugh* But this has taught me not to take ANYBODY on face value. :P (p.s. iam planning to start coaching classes for people incompetent in such forms of art, in addition to my Love-agency, and have agreed to offering these services at subsidized rates for my Blog Readers AND commenters. So better grab the chance fast :P)
Its always difficult for me to tear myself away from one comfortable situation and put myself into another. Hence, it has always been difficult leaving home. But no sooner did my flight take the run before take-off did the familiar sensation of freedom coupled with a determination to fly high (not literally :P) filled my being. Again I have a smile playing on my lips and iam actually looking forward the” mysteries” that are “waiting to be unfolded” :D
Over a cup of cappuccino (I have become a massive coffee addict of late), Iam actually enjoying looking out of the window (yes, I always insist on taking the window seat). Everything seems so puny. (okay, I know that is like ‘duh!”) and I just love the wisps of clouds that pass through the plane as the plane gains height. This is perhaps the first time it has rained while I am flying. It’s beautiful!



p.s. I have loads more to tell but I intend to keep my posts short from now on , coz some *ahem* people (read lazy bums) refuse to read and comment on my post, if it gets too long :P

Thoughts of a "disiilusioned" mind.

(Note: After you read the first paragraph, please stop and think whether you want to read further or not. If you happen to read even one line into the next para, I sincerely request you to go till the very end of this post and bear with me even if the reading becomes a tad bit boring in the middle.)

Many a times in life, one is faced with situations, which completely shake the very foundation on which one’s believes stand. It makes them lose complete faith in the entire system which runs it. I can feel myself being faced with a similar situation and this time it is the Indian Education System which has disillusioned me.

This declaration of mine might be received with a lot of disappointed sighs and nodding of heads from all those Blog Readers who had expected me to be disillusioned by something more worthy of disillusionment. I mean, The Indian education system is like this very old topic which is debated on, each year, around the month of april-may, when the admission fever is on an all time high and dies down as august approaches, taking down with it probably millions of aspirations, hard-earned money and a lot of criticism. Each year, these kind of topics get a lot of media attention and hype (creating hype is something that media has become extremely good at.), which include interviews of principals, and ministers, parents and students.

The principals of colleges are bound by the rules laid by the government (in case of govt colleges) or the trustees (in case of the private ones). The government (and the trustees) are hypnotized and kept in control by the ministers and other ‘influential’ people who, in turn, dance to the tune of money and status. The parents are bound by love for their children and a hope to help them in every possible way, so that they can kick start their carrier well, and of course, it is also slightly influenced by their neighbor’s or friend’s child’s performance :P The ones left are the students who are also now divided into three categories, from the previously defined two categories (thankz to the hon’ble minster Mr. Arjun Singh), and those three categories are- the ones who work their asses out and manage to get admission into a respectable college; the ones who may or may not have slogged but still get admission into respectable colleges because they (or rather their parents) have the moolah to shell out, and the third category is the now-even-more-popular-than-Shahrukh khan-category - the OBCs, who can get admission without working hard or shelling out a penny (if they want to) because the number of seats now reserved for them, must be leaving little scope for too many of them to be left disappointed.

Okay, for a moment, let us just forget the Quota crap and all the pre-admission turmoil. After one manages to get admission into a decent college, the question that arises is, how decent is the level of education going to be and how much future security lies in it? Today, I was going through some resumes for my uncle, who had asked me to sort out the candidates on the basis of their qualification into two groups- MBA and Engineering grads. Initially I did not give much thought to it. But when I started going through the resumes, I was really zapped reading the names of the colleges and universities. 80% institutes fell in the category of those of which I had never in my life heard of. I actually began to question the authenticity of the large number of so-called engineering institutes that have been mushrooming all over the place and an ever increasing number of students going in for such options. Do even half those people want to do engineering in the first place? Or have they been compelled by the employer’s preference towards engineering and MBA grads? And to tell you the truth, i was told point blank on my face that only those candidates who have passed out from "decent" colleges will be considered for the job. In such a case what about the other so-called engineering and MBA grads?

Its actually not funny how commercialized and expensive education has become. Get into this field and u get the Midas’ touch. Recently a friend of mine, who did not perform well academically, was trying the management quota way, to get into a college here. Before he and his parents entered the admission in charge’s room to discuss matters of give and take, they were scanned for hidden cameras and their cell phones were kept outside. Believe me; I was really shocked and slightly amused at how low the value of education had fallen. Had the lessons taught in the classrooms been something out of the world, then I would have understood all this hysteria. But, the tragedy here is that, the lessons taught in the colleges are also so vague and insufficient, that in most cases students take out side help (read tuitions, which is another booming industry) to pass even the university papers. The amount spent on tutoring the child before appearing for common entrance tests, needs a whole new post to be dedicated to it, in order to do justice to it. People who have got into jobs will very well be privy to the fact that classroom teaching is no where close to the actual practical work. When I think of the time I had gone through, before I finally got admission into my college, I still get the creeps. I still shudder at how crazy it all had been.

The Indian Education System has been SO badly raped, that it is gonna take ages to set it right. But there has to be a beginning somewhere. If our respectable Prime Minister would concentrate even an iota of what he is doing on the Nuclear Deal, on cleansing the educational system on India, then the Indians would definitely be a happier lot. As for me, I will get back to college next week, get up at 8 and attend classes( only physically), sit in the last bench and play hollywood-bolly-wood, or the name game; or better still, think about some cute guy, while the teacher rambles about some utterly unintelligible stuff and as of now, I can only shudder at how bad things are, rethink my reason for becoming an engineering student and for not getting into journalism (as I initially wanted to) and keep posting bout it hoping that at least 2 out of every 10 readers would have the patience to “read” me out.

Random musings..

Dated: 12 th july, 2008

This is the 6 th time I have opened up a new word document today, hoping to add a new dimension to the “two sides of the same coin” Each time I attempted to type down my thoughts, I just sat there staring blanking at the screen. This has happened lot of times before and I have realized that this situation arises each time I am myself unsure of my feelings. U know, writing always helps me think more clearly. There was a time in probably 5^th or 6^th std, when I clearly remember throwing a huge tantrum because I did not want to write an essay given at school! I hated writing. I would never be happy with what I wrote. But gradually, writing became a kind of emotional gateway for me. Although, even now, half the stuff I write, must be utter crap, still, I have started enjoying it. There have also been instances, when I had been feeling quite low and ended up writing a post, after which I felt much better and whatever I had written sounded SO ridiculous to me, that I ended up not putting it up on my blog. (I am really doubtful about the future of this post as well)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It may sound silly, but over the years I have developed certain theories I really believe in. There is probably no logic behind them and some of them are really really stupid. (i.e. if u vow to postmortem each one of them and view them under an electron microscope). But still, they will probably remain as memories even though I might laugh at them a few years from now.

1. I have this wind chime in my room. (I LUV the sound of wind chimes) which had been gifted to me by one of my closest friends. Each time the wind chime chimes, I (like to) feel that someone is remembering me (:P) (okay… u are not allowed to laugh at my theories :I )
2. I believe that whenever one is genuinely sad (and I mean genuinely) then even nature weeps with them. (yes, it has always rains in such situations. Even in the month of march, even in a place called manipal, even when it is NOT supposed to rain at that time :P)
3. When you really really want to meet someone you don’t and when u don’t wanna then you do. (you can call this Murphy’s law or law of attraction. Wateva!)
4. Everything in this world runs a full circle before coming to an end. Yeah, this is one of the theories that I believe in very strongly. I have always noticed that something that is gonna end for ever, has to end from where it started.
5. I believe, each person that we meet, comes into our life to teach us something, to help us in some way. We may not immediately register the importance of the person in our life, because as the say, one realizes the value of things only after losing them, but still, they end up having a profound impact on us. Very few are lucky enough to realize the value while they still have the thing (read person).
6. Wait for your time and chance. It will come :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dated : 13^th july, 2008

Isn’t it important to face every situation that comes your way?? Its so much easier to “ignore” everything and run away. Arn’t we allowed to run away from just a few things?? (*please please please*). *sigh*

Twist in the tale.....

When there are too many people and just one TV in the common room (which obviously cant have more than one :P), and one DOESNOT want to watch one of those Ekta kapoor Saas-bahu dramas, but is forced to, then it comes as a huge relief when one realizes that these serials are no longer popular and people have actually cultivated some much-needed sense and have stopped believing in such ridiculous representation of life. (with due respects to lover of such serials). But, when such a thing happens, it is because something of a similar variety, but of a larger magnitude and intensity has managed to capture their attention, which believe me, is worse.

So, this time, the channels which have managed to get TRPs much higher than the other normal channels are…. The news channels. Yes my dear friends, the ardent viewers of Ekta Kapoor serials are now shifting their interests towards news channels which are now-a-days providing more drama and entertainment than any other serial could ever manage. As an icing on the cake, here, the characters, incidents and emotions are real. Voila! The news channels have hit gold! Who wouldn’t want to leave the those fake projections of life and emotions in exchange for something that is more well… more realistic?? At least here they will not hear their favorite characters coming on reality shows and claiming how badly their on-screen persona has effected their off-screen life!

Take the Aarushi murder case as an example. This is probably the biggest example I can give you. This incident, from being something so terribly moving and nerve-wrecking for the family, was transformed into a complete murder mystery, which any Sydney Sheldon or John Grisham lover would be proud of. From children (who surprising were equally fond of Ekta aunty’s serials) to the old, all that people discussed on the dining table was “ the latest update on the case”. What is horrendous is the fact that this story was so well molded by the media, that it managed to keep the viewers rapt. Throughout the course of the entire investigation, no one really cared about how ruthlessly the family’s reputation and their sentiments were murdered.

Neither do I have any special attachment towards this family to be rooting for them, nor do I have anything against the media. But it really annoys me to see such demonstration of selfishness. Yes, I would call it selfishness. Informing the masses about what is going on around is fine, it’s a necessity and that is where news channels come in. But going overboard with “analysis” and trying to act all detective, is a little too much. Then again, not all news channel are such. They know exactly where to limit themselves, which is exactly how it should be. It really disgusts me when I see all this happening, because I really think media is the most important medium of communication we have and to see it misuse and disuse its rights appalls me to a great extent. I agree they show what people want to see but still, the integrity and righteousness of such a powerful media, should not be disgraced, so much so that they end up inspiring Ekta Kapoor (of all people!!! *rolls her eyes*) who decides to base one of her plots on this case.

(p.s. 1.also read this

2.iam sure Ekta Kapoor is gonna sue me for defamation :P Sn... help!! :P)

Hmm... i guess i have a lot to say!

I am totally bowled over!!! (And dats saying something!!!!) I finally saw Jaane tu… after waiting for it since the time I first saw its promos. Dude!!! You have to watch it. If not for anything, just for your college days, for your friends, for your dreams, for those silent wishes you have in your heart but are unable to express, for Jai (Imran), for that look on Aditi’s face when she her closest friend with someone else. Man!! I felt as bad as she was feeling. I know how one feels in such a situation. Trust me. I almost had tears in my eyes AND the only movie I have cried before in, is when I saw If only and Taare zameen par.

Even now, I have a smile on my face. Iam sure the jaane tu hangover will take days to go and the “Imran hangover” will take longer. *dreamy eyed*. I dunno how other people will respond to the movie, but the movie will be special to me for many reasons, one of them being the people I saw the movie with:)

p.s. I loved the song “kabhi kabhi aditi” and “kahin toh hogi woh”. A R Rehaman is a genius!

My holidays are soon gonna come to an end. I met up with my friends today, for prolly one of the last few times. But that doesnot matter, does it? We had an amazing time and that’s what is most important. I dunno why but I have kind of mixed feelings about going back to college. I really dunno whats gonna happen there. (well, no one knows that). I don’t know if I can go through another 4 and a half months of alternation between hope and despair (but that’s what life is, isn’t it??). I really wish there was nothn called “expectation” in this world. The effect that this 11 lettered word has on our life is seriously not a joke. I would have elaborated more on this, but I don’t feel like it, due to er… some reasons. Sorry.

Why do grown ups have the habit of pulling cheeks when they see you after a long time??? Even the child is no-longer a “child” but a 19 year old?? Cant they understand the simple fact that I simply dislike ANYONE touching my cheeks??? *annoyed and disgusted look* and I swear, next time iam NOT gonna give a nice lil polite goody-goody smile. I am gonna show how I feel about it, and people who know me, know how bad that can be!

Oh! And guess what? I met D today!!! After so long! No… chill… D is certainly no long lost buddy of mine. If you don’t remember who D is, check this out - . Btw, I feel very sorry for her. Now that she is in an all girls college, she cant possibly try one of her those antics again :P

Hostel & weight loss...... naaah!

As a child, I had heard from practically EVERYONE (I wud have used a larger font size but this is the max size that will look decent on this post :P) that hostel life is synonymous with oodles and oodles of weight loss. I had been conditioned to think that one is meant to starve and live in such atrocious living conditions in a hostel, that one inevitable ends up losing a lot of weight. Hence, when my turn came, I was fully prepared for the worse and was kinda happy that I will be finally doing something I long wanted to, without much effort. *sly grin*. Infact, one of the prime reasons I was adamant to experience the life of a hostler was that, I would get a chance to test myself and see if I am actually up to all that I think I am. You know, many times people have these preconceived notions about what they can do and stuff and how they will handle themselves in a particular situation ?? Well, it wont be wrong to say that I wanted to test myself, and see whether I was at par with the standards I had set for myself, or had been living in a fantasy world all through. (okay, I know I sound too capricorn-ish :P )

*giggles* you know, I actually use to imagine myself coming back from college, and surprising people with my all-new avatar and all that.

BUT!!! No sooner did I land in a land called MANIPAL, all such dreams were shattered into million pieces. I was forced to rethink my definition of “a hostel life”. Life there was SO chilled out, and the food was SO amazing that soon I realized nothing was gonna be the way I though it would be :D

So basically, this was just meant to tell all my blog readers, please, do not think staying in a hostel makes you loose weight, and next time u see a hostel-returned student, who has not managed to lose weight please do not subject him/her to torturous comments like “Now atleast you should have lost weight!! What are you doing there???” and the likes. Similarly, if you see a hostler who has managed to shed a few pounds, then kindly do not shrug it off with clichéd lines like “it had to happens, now that he/she stays in a hostel ”, rather, kindly acknowledge the fact that the poor student has had to go through tremendous mental torture, and it has taken a considerable amount of self-control on the part of the student to ignore all those yum brownies and sundaes and pastas in order to lose those few kilos and hence, the poor victim of such ruthless torture should be endowed with generous praises, rather than those snide remarks.

(p.s. kindly pardon me for giving this post such a ridiculous title. But trust me, my creativity is on a holiday. i could think on nothn better than this :P)

KIDS??? U GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!

Yep! I am now cent percent convinced that the dictionary meaning of KIDS has to be
rechecked, rethought of and put down again. Weren’t kids supposed to those puny, cute lil creations of God, who were supposed to be the epitome of innocence, as fresh as the early morning dew drops??? (okay, I had actually used these lines for a creative writing competition some 5 years back :P ) But, the point to be noted is, I had written these lines 5 years back. Now, the scenario has changed so substantially, yet so gradually, that unless, currently jobless people like me, sit down and ponder over this stuff, such facts of great importance (towards the ego and self esteem of those no-longer-under-the-category-of-children, like me) are completely lost into oblivion!

Now, before I write anything more on this topic, lemme tell all you blog readers, that I have 4 lil (lil???) cousins at home and a younger brother. So, whatever I say here is based on careful analysis and observation over the past few years (i.e. since I developed this weird new hobby and time pass called “thinking”:P)

See, I have absolutely nothing against these kiddos, and I don’t know if I am letting my oh-so-famous-capricornian-conservatism come in the way of how I perceive things. But whatever it is, over the past few years, I have received several “shocks” from them and their friends, to make me a stanch believer of the fact that “ I was never like this when I was this small “ :P

For example, the so-called “kids” today, know more about soaps and serials than most people of my age, and the accuracy with which they predict what may happen next is actually amazing. They talk bout the characters as if they are nothing more than their classmates, with whom they spend their entire day! I don’t remember seeing anything other than Disney channel and probably a few music channels, at their age :P Infact, thankz to my hostel life, I have become SO bollywood-handicapped, that my limited knowledge on the movies to be released , and the current bollywood gossip, makes me feel lost in front of them :P

Also, I never really vied for a jacket like the one worn by SRK in Krazzy4, or for a bikini like the one worn by Bipasha in dhoom 2, at the age of 5!

I guess I wouldn’t have been able to perform the “ek chutki sindoor” dialogue from OSO with as much aplomb as these “kids” do. They will surely give Deepika a run for her money!

These “kids” not only know how to distinguish between a Honda city, a Honda CXV and an Innova , but are also fully capable of driving the driver mad if their favorite FM station has not been tuned into.

They are not only crystal clear about what they want, but also know hundred and one ways of making them happen. Tell them no for something and then u will see! Poor lil innocent sisters like me are always tricked into playing UNO, snakes and ladders or ludo and end up losing in the end, cause unless they win, the game HAS to continue. And if you r a very soft hearted person and tend to believe whatever they say (as it use to be with me initially), then its their lucky day. They will surely take you for a nice ride! I have learnt long ago, not to be fooled by their wannabe-innocent faces (though the hard way). Huh! *disgusted look*.

Another lesson that THEY have taught me is that never try and teach them anything. There are very high chances of you urself forgetting all that you had learnt. Either this, or they will argue and disagree with you till the point you get SO terribly saturated that you are ready to tear off your hair and agree to take tuitions from them the next day (on how to irritate people:P)

Today only, I was caught in between a crossfire going on between my two lil cousins (6 yr olds) who sat on the breakfast table with me and were having a discussion bout barista and ccd (yep! u heard me right).

And this particular incident took the cake! It had been just a few days since I had returned from college, and was sitting on my laptop, orkutting, when my 6 year old cousin comes up to me and sweetly asks me “Abhu didi, apke kitne boyfriends hain???”

Believe me! I almost fell off my chair!

Iam not telling that all kids these days, are like this. (I sure hope I don’t sound like a granny giving gyaan), but its just that these lil ones never fail to amaze me! Sure, the exposure these days is much more from the time when I was probably 5-6 years old, but its really amazing and actually fun to spend time with these lil ones. All I do is smile and keep listening to them. And the bestest part is that, whatever they say, they say it so cutely and with such innocence, that although there is nothing innocent about what they have to say, you still end up smiling.

LIVING-DEAD

A thousand wishes,

A million aspirations,

This stupid heart nets

hundreds of dreams every second.

A longing for what is not there,

A craving to set right

the lil things amiss;

a desire to complete

the “Perfect” Picture of life

is all that he wished.

He saw himself up there.

There was a satisfied smile on his face;

A smug expression which said ,” Did u see that?

All my hard work has paid off.

It has all been worth the risk”.

But no sooner did he look back

At the road he had chosen to take,

Than his heart filled with remorse

As he saw all that lay dead.

How could he have done this?

How did he stoop so low?

When did he become so selfish,

He really did not know.

With each step that he took

Towards the topmost rung

Of that “bloody” ladder,

He murdered every little sensitive

emotion that he had in him.

He tortured all those sweet lil fantasies

That threatened to retard his progress.

The child in him was lost forever,

his innocence was packed in a box

and stacked away.

All that was left

In those ruthless, self-centered eyes

Was HATRED……

Hatred for everything to do with life….

Hatred towards everyone

Who wanted to live life…

Watching the sun set along the horizon,

Feeling the cool breeze whip across the face,

Smelling the air just after it rained…..

Enjoying such sensitivities of life

Became nothing but a “time waste”

Now, standing on top,

He looked around,

yearning to share his happiness

with someone.

But all that greeted his forlorn eyes

Was barrenness, profound.

Nothing even remotely sensitivity

agreed to thrive in such an atrocious environment

nothing with even an iota of

happiness could gulp in

such poison.

It was too late to turn back now….

Too late to undo what had been

done and said.

He knelt and wept….

Wept his heart out,

But remained a loner,

LIVING – DEAD

A lil note from the blog owner- Life is too short. Don’t get so engrossed and obsessed to achieve material happiness, that u fail to enjoy the finer things in life. LIVE life, LOVE life, however good or bad it may be, because it is YOURS. Vying for things, cribbing bout stuff will make you lose on what you have today and today is never gonna come back. And keep smiling coz a smile is a curve that can straighten any problem :)